Sideswipe

Mistaken ID: You can imagine Katie's surprise when she received her driver's licence in the mail.

John Clarke of Birkenhead has never felt compelled to write to the newspaper until now. "I tried to place an ad in a large local North Shore newspaper the other day in the To Let column. I tried to say 'suit professional non-smoking couple or family, and sorry no pets'. I was told I was not able to say the words 'professional', 'couple' or 'family' because it discriminates against people who are not those things, and it is against the human rights laws! Am I allowed to discriminate against smokers? They said that is because it is a physical thing that people have a choice about. I then said, then if that is the case, then of course people do have a choice about being professional or not! I also asked how come I am allowed to discriminate against dog and cat owners? The nice man did not seem to have an answer to that. Isn't it all getting a little silly and out of hand? Thanks to the Herald for printing the ad and accepting we should be allowed to look for financially secure tenants, who don't ruin our curtains with smoke, and whose pets don't pee on the new carpet."

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Seen in Glen Innes: a temporary plastic-and -sticky-tape rear door car window. On it a small sign saying, "There's nothing worth nicking in this car. The fact that we can't afford to get this window fixed proves it."

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A reader from Devonport writes: "My wife and I took our teenage family to North Shore's Berkeley cinema multiplex on the weekend to see the historical epic, Alexander. When we went to pick up the tickets we were surprised when the youth behind the counter asked our 13-year-old son if he had proof of his age, since the film was an R13. What kind of identification does a 13-year-old boy normally carry? And what better than having his parents to vouch for him? Remonstrations to the duty manager were to no avail. She was unbending in not allowing him to view the film, saying the police could check up at any moment. Do police patrols really go through the cinemas with their torches looking for underage kids with their parents?"

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Cliff Richard would've worked just as well: London Underground is to pipe endless recitals of "uncool" music into trouble-prone tube stations in an attempt to encourage disorderly teenagers to go away. Tube bosses intend to use recordings of Pavarotti recitals, Vivaldi and Mozart in a battle against anti-social behaviour at 35 stations following a trial at four east London stations which prompted a 33 per cent drop in abuse against staff. (Source: The Guardian)