Sideswipe

Where are they now? Former NZ Idols immortalised in complimentary foodstuff brands.

When hospitality hygiene goes bad: A reader shares a group-quaffing experience at a restaurant in Remuera. "One daughter asked for a glass of merlot which, when it arrived, was definitely not merlot - we took a sip, the decision was unanimous and we called the waiter over. He took the glass back to the counter where he too sipped it and then passed it over to a colleague ... who poured it neatly back into the bottle before our incredulous eyes."

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When parenting goes bad: A reader was browsing in a clothes shop last week and was alarmed to hear a conversation between a smartly dressed woman and her teenage daughter. "The daughter was begging mum to buy her an expensive item and the emotional blackmail was steadily escalating. "I'll be sooo good" and "you never buy me anything!" etc etc. Mum was getting a little harassed when that great last-ditch effort came from desperate daughter, "Why did you even want to have me anyway?" Mum's reply was the greatest cut down ever - "I didn't, I just wanted to have sex and I ended up with you."

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When late-night trains go bad: Feedback to maxx.co.nz public transport website about first late-night trains on Fridays and Saturdays. "On Saturday night. My girlfriend and I caught the 7:49 from Ellerslie to Britomart ... about 50 per cent full. We caught the 12:10 home, 4 pax only on board including us. At Newmarket 6 pax got on, including a very sick woman. The guard had a shopping bag ready and the woman lost weight in front of us. That's the price to pay for late weekend trains, but damn good to have them finally."

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Nouveau riche gone bad: From the sales sheet of an Adelaide Realty Company ... "From a sweeping driveway, the north-facing freestone homestead welcomes all with a relaxed sandstone paved, columned verandah with cafe style awnings and superb entrance foyer complete with ornate iron door, Carrera marble floor and magnificent fireplace." (Carrara = Michelangelo's favourite marble, Carrera = a kind of Porsche.)

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Finally ... Yes, the snippet about Dr Wayne Mapp in yesterday's Sideswipe was supposed to be satire. However, not all readers are laughing. And neither is Dr Mapp. He writes: "Your attempt at humour in yesterday's column by running a fictitious press release from a future Minister of Political Correctness fell rather flat. Many readers thought the comments had actually been made by me. They were not. Dealing with political correctness is not about attacking people with disabilities or any other vulnerable minority group. It is about bureaucratic absurdities (like school sport without scores) or attacks on free speech."