Sideswipe

A porcelain convenience has been attached to a classroom roof at Putaruru College in Waikato, by a clever prankster(s) who may or may not be aware that because OSH regulations won't let staff ascend higher than 3m, the school has to hire a crane to remove the sculpture. A great stunt, the butt of many school yard sniggers, but why? If the culprits would like to unburden themselves and explain, please contact Sideswipe in complete confidence. Promise.

* * *

A disgruntled Bathurst driver being interviewed in the pits after withdrawing from the race claimed he had been hit by a driver from Switzerland, and suggested that the officials should translate the rule book into "Swiss" for him.

* * *

In Lincoln, Nebraska, police cited sportscaster Brent Musburger for having an open container of alcohol in a vehicle after a college football game. Musburger was caught drinking a beer while he was a passenger in a car. (Source: reason.com)

* * *

Although there is still no cure for cancer, scientists have invented a kettle that can be turned on by texting the words "switch on" from the comfort of your couch. Called the ReadyWhenUR, the silver and black kettle is fitted with a radio receiver programmed with your mobile number, an electronic circuit and a tiny set of mechanical levers. (Source: Ananova.com)

* * *

Succinctly said:

1. In Florida a school board member explains why she finally accepted a school's new policy of no running on the playground: "To say 'no running' on the playground seems crazy, but your feelings change when you're in a closed-door meeting with lawyers."

2. The costume designer for the new movie Superman Returns explains her toughest problem: "There was more discussion about Superman's 'package' than anything else on the suit. Was it too big? Was it not big enough? Was it too pointy? Too round?"

3. The child-targeted advertising slogan for Tomamasu Corp's new non-alcoholic beverage "Kidsbeer" (which looks and foams like beer but is actually a cola): "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink". (Source: News of the Weird)

* * *

Leisure centre manager Cherry Gilbert seems a bit mortified about her Stanmore Bay centre's misspelled sign appearing in Sideswipe. She writes: "This sign was removed very soon after it went up last year. I find it astounding that you have published such old and very short-lived news. I am, however, more concerned about a camera being used in a public change area."