Sideswipe

Labour's second billboard instalment.

Problems with Labour's second billboard instalment:

1. "More, more, more" sounds greedy.

2. Why not have better teachers, rather than more.

3. It looks like an ACC ad.

4. There's no reward at the top of the ladder, so why bother climbing it.

5. A ladder with no apparent start or end is infinitely depressing.

6. Thankfully, voters don't vote for the best billboard ... or do they?

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A blogger's surreal conversation with his aunt, from thesneeze.com

Aunt: I don't eat tuna. They kill the dolphins.

Me: But what about the tuna?

Aunt: (Pause) They kill the dolphins.

Me: All right ... what about salmon?

Aunt: Oh, salmon's delicious!

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Flight 532 from Christchurch to Auckland last Tuesday was quite bumpy and when Wally Gem landed, a passenger in the row ahead opened the overhead locker and out tumbled a book that hit him on the head. Title of offending book? To Harm Someone. "My wife thought it was a huge joke," he says.

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A reader went to see the movie Mr and Mrs Smith, and loved the car chase where Mrs Smith (Angelina Jolie) swerves a Mercedes wagon through gunfire and explosions, dodging cars in the wrong lane, while her spy husband (Brad Pitt) climbs on the seats, shooting at the bad guys through the sunroof and through the open rear door. Finally, the pair drive out of the carnage with BMWs exploding left and right behind them and they turn to each other and smile. Behind us, we heard a little voice. "Mummy, they're not wearing their seatbelts!"

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An 82-year-old man who had locked himself out of his still-running car in Glen Burnie, Maryland was hospitalised with first- and second-degree burns after attempting to siphon petrol from the car using a vacuum cleaner (a spark from which ignited vapours). He told police that he wanted to force the engine to stop by removing the rest of the fuel. (Source: News of the Weird)

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From the Sydney Morning Herald: David Morey, of Bondi Junction, had a beer with a worker who couldn't dig his hole because the truck with the shovels hadn't turned up. His boss said: "The shovels are on their way. In the meantime, you'll have to lean on each other".