Sideswipe

Opinion

Pedestrian crossing signals showing a Holly Hobby-type female wearing a skirt and braids are being tested at Zwickau in Germany. The female replaces the traditional bowler hat-wearing male seen at pedestrian crossings in the former East Germany.

* * *

These are the 70 most beautiful words in the English language, a survey by the British Council found after asking more than 7000 language students in 46 countries for their picks. A further 35,000 people registered their favourites in an online poll. (Source: the Guardian)

1. Mother
2. Passion
3. Smile
4. Love
5. Eternity
6. Fantastic
7. Destiny
8. Freedom
9. Liberty
10. Tranquillity
11. Peace
12. Blossom
13. Sunshine
14. Sweetheart
15. Gorgeous
16. Cherish
17. Enthusiasm
18. Hope
19. Grace
20. Rainbow
21. Blue
22. Sunflower
23. Twinkle
24. Serendipity
25. Bliss
26. Lullaby
27. Sophisticated
28. Renaissance
29. Cute
30. Cosy
31. Butterfly
32. Galaxy
33. Hilarious
34. Moment
35. Extravaganza
36. Aqua
37. Sentiment
38. Cosmopolitan
39. Bubble
40. Pumpkin
41. Banana
42. Lollipop
43. If
44. Bumblebee
45. Giggle
46. Paradox
47. Delicacy
48. Peekaboo
49. Umbrella
50. Kangaroo
51. Flabbergasted
52. Hippopotamus
53. Gothic
54. Coconut
55. Smashing
56. Whoops
57. Tickle
58. Loquacious
59. Flip-flop
60. Smithereens
61. Oi
62. Gazebo
63. Hiccup
64. Hodgepodge
65. Shipshape
66. Explosion
67. Fuselage
68. Zing
69. Gum
70. Hen night

* * *

Answering machine messages:

1. Hi. Now you say something.

2. Hi. John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

3.This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

4. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

5.Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

6. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

7. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

(If you can do better email Sideswipe.)

* * *

A note from the summer chef at Scott Base: "Have just finished Sir Edmund Hillary's dinner and just wanted to let all the readers know that his favourite ice cream is orange chocolate chip. He's had it every night he's been here."