Puns for all the whanau (second instalment)
1. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire. Unsurprisingly the craft sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament wins. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. Why? they asked as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
5. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal and the other to a family in Spain and is called Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
* * *
A reader writes: "My son (6) received a letter from this company demanding he pay his outstanding debt of $22 with a local medical centre immediately. I paid the debt via internet banking and sent them an email advising that I was his mother, that the letter had been sent to a 6-year-old and that the debt had been paid in full. The following Thursday he got another letter informing that the debt had been paid and to cancel any arrangements, if he had made any, with the bank to pay the debt.
Then on Friday he received another letter saying: LEGAL ACTION WARNING - YOU HAVE LEFT US WITH NO CHOICE BUT TO CONTINUE RECOVERY ACTION AND WE HAVE SUGGESTED TO OUR CLIENT THAT THEY COMMENCE LEGAL PROCEEDINGS AGAINST YOU. Maybe I should encourage them to go ahead."
* * *
Did you know ... The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime-time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
<EM>Sideswipe</EM>
Not any old heathen can have access to God at the Southeastern Bible College in Birmingham, Alabama.
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.
