Sideswipe

Roger Brownsey took a trip to the South Island and found the "West Coast sense of humour" to be as sharp as ever. This sign is at Ikamatua.

We hope the Auckland Museum is taking note of the huge volume of letters flooding in on the topic of its $5 donation. Here are just a selection.

1. Neil refused to pay on the grounds that the museum is a war memorial. "I was followed around by an awful lot of security guards during my visit ... Presumably to make sure I visited the actual memorial and not enjoy the exhibits."

2. Elizabeth took her rates notice which showed she paid around $25 a year in rates to the council to spend on the museum. "I pointed out they had already received a compulsory donation through my rates payments for several years since I had previously visited. I was not pressed further to make a "voluntary donation".

3. Janice shares her secret for getting away with not paying. "A good way around it is to walk straight through, turn as if you are going either to the cafe or the shop, and head back through the exit gate that passes behind the till operator and leads you back into the museum. Works every time."

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Taking the cakeage:

A dinner at a Parnell restaurant was going swimmingly for a mum celebrating her daughter's 18th birthday.

But then ...

1. We were charged for 14 meals, although only 12 people were there.

2. We were charged corkage of $4 a head to open the four bottles of wine we took: $44 in total as one person was underage (nice of them to take that into account!).

3. We were charged $8 for the use of two plates to put some fairy cakes on that we had brought along.

The manageress couldn't seem to understand why we were unhappy to pay for meals for two invisible people, $44 corkage and $8 "cakeage". She knocked $45 off to appease us but we still believe we were unfairly treated and want to warn others who may unwittingly be conned in this way.

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This story sent in by a long-haul flight attendant for Air New Zealand is too good to not share:

"I am a long-haul flight attendant for Air NZ. I recently worked on a flight from Los Angeles to Auckland.

Three hours out of Auckland, like clockwork, out go the breakfast carts. Stopping at the row to be served, I turn to be greeted by a smiling American couple.

"Good morning folks", I say, "would you care for the continental breakfast, or the mixed grill?" To which the lady replies, "Oh you serve squirrel?"

"Pardon?" I respond, "squirrel?" The lady with an 'I love California' sweatshirt on, turns to her husband and says, "Did you hear that honey, they serve minced squirrel!"

Turning back to me, she says, "Go ahead and and give Tom the continental, I'll take the squirrel." I just smile, hand the meals over, and think to myself, you gotta love that accent barrier, welcome to New Zealand honey, enjoy your stay!"