Sideswipe

Around 5am the other morning Keith Levy from Warkworth had to call an ambulance via the 111 service after he suffered an atrial fibrillation. He writes: "After giving my name, address, date of birth, etc, the man dealing with the call and I had the following exchange:
'Are you conscious?'
'Are you kidding,' said I.
'Just answer the question. Yes or no, sir. Are you conscious?'
'Of course I'm conscious!'
'Thank you, sir. Are you breathing?'
What can you say? The ambulance was on its way and I was left wondering just who needed it most."

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Judy from Auckland shares her expensive passport photo experience: "It took me two weeks and three lots of photos to finally have one accepted by Internal Affairs. First photo, I was smiling slightly; second photo, light's reflecting on my glasses; third photo, had to take glasses off and it was touch-and-go whether the shine on my forehead would pass scrutiny. Of course, each new photo requires the signed witness sticker on the reverse, causing further delays. Meantime, my travel date is now only a week away so have to pay the additional cost for an urgent passport."

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Living up to the stereotype, an Orewa blonde rang her husband in a panic explaining that the 10 tonnes of river boulders they were expecting had been delivered. Her husband asked what the problem was. The blonde said she told them to unload them in front of the garage. Perplexed, the husband said that was the best place to put them. Then the blonde admitted her car was still in the garage.

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Norman Hogwood of Mangere writes: "Like Graham Fleetwood in yesterday's SideSwipe, my wife and I also arrived back from Brisbane this week. The airbridge in Auckland worked perfectly well ... No doubt while he was in Brisbane, Mr Fleetwood would have learned that the Queensland Government is trying to have a surgeon extradited from the US to face murder and other charges resulting from his alleged malpractices in a Bundaberg hospital; that the chief magistrate was incorrectly prosecuted and imprisoned because someone forgot to read a clause in the Crimes Act; that it has been discovered about 130km of the Bruce Highway, the main arterial road serving the state, has been re-surfaced with the wrong material which is now thought to have contributed to several serious accidents, including fatalities ... It is so easy to be subjective when making comparisons. By the way, we still enjoyed our holiday and I hope he did, too."

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A train driver asked passengers for sticky tape so he could carry out repairs to the train they were travelling in. The Midland Mainline train from London St Pancras to Nottingham broke down south of Leicester, reports BBC online. The driver asked passengers for sticky tape when an exterior air pipe came loose and he tried to fix it. A spokeswoman said: "To make it to the next station he thought it might be a good idea to see if any passengers had anything which could seal the pipe." (Source: Ananova.com)