Sideswipe

Watch out...if this restaurant in St George, Utah, lives up to its name.

Eight-year-olds were asked to define what a grandparent is:

* A grandfather is a man grandmother.
* When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
* They like looking at the sea but they shouldn't go swimming because they look weird in togs.
* They don't say, "Hurry up".
* Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to do up your shoes.
* Grandparents don't have to be smart. When they give speeches at weddings they try to be funny and wise. * Sometimes they are not funny but they are wise.
* When they read to us they don't skip pages. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
* Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown-ups who like to spend time with us.

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A reader writes: "Making friendly chitchat to a fellow guest at a small hotel in Auckland yesterday morning, I said casually as I browsed the front page of the Herald, 'I see John Tamihere is on the road to redemption'. The other guest replied, in a strong Melbourne accent, 'Who does he play for?' My guess is he didn't realise how insightful his question was."

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Cliff Barnett is so annoyed by stickers on fruit, he has taken a stand. "This is a silly practice, especially when the skin is edible and you can accidentally eat the sticky label. If you take the labelled fruit home, then every time you decide to eat a separate piece of fruit you have to make a trip to the rubbish bag and try to unstick the tiny label from the end of your finger. As a means of protest, I take the label off every piece of fruit as I select it in the shop. I put all the labels back on to one single piece of fruit and leave it for other shoppers and the shop staff to see."

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Heidi O'Callahan explains to Francis B why it's okay to openly flop your breasts out: "Elderly or tired passersby are given encouraging smiles if they need a rest on display furniture. It's unhealthy discrimination to consider breastfeeding mothers who do the same shameful. The mistaken belief that babies can and should wait until an appropriate moment to feed is a major factor in breastfeeding failure and premature weaning. Our children's health is severely compromised by this attitude. An aversion to breasts performing their intended function ("openly flopping your breasts out ... ") is a peculiarly Western problem, and needs to change before we can meet our children's needs."