Sideswipe

Priorities? This house in Ponsonby has no walls or windows but the satellite dish is ready and waiting.

Quotes from real life Dilbert managers:

1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (From a manager at Microsoft Corp)

2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)

3. "Email is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)

4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/marketing manager, United Parcel Service)

5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp)

* If you have any examples of Dilbertness in your own workplace, please send them to Sideswipe, in complete confidence of course.

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People in the US state of Virginia who wear their pants so low their underwear shows may want to think about investing in a stronger belt.

Lawmakers passed a bill on Tuesday authorising a US$50 ($71) fine for anyone who displays his or her underpants in a "lewd or indecent manner".

A Democrat who opposed the bill had pleaded with his colleagues to remember their own youthful fashion follies.

The measure was approved 60-34 and now goes to the state Senate.

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Tammy Ewing of Waterview registered her car yesterday and realised that the date for renewal next year was one day earlier than this year.

"This means that each successive year I will lose a day of registration at a hidden cost of approximately 55 cents.

"I can live with that. But with nearly 2.2 million registered cars, that amounts to about $1.2 million of increased annual revenue to the LTSA.

"I wonder what clever accountant has been living the high life?"

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In response to yesterday's wackiest warning labels, a reader proposes a product safety label that all manufactures in the world could use: "Common sense required at all times while using this product".

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During an emergency evacuation of Westminster High School, two students in wheelchairs were left in a second-floor stairwell as it filled with smoke.

It turns out that wasn't a mistake. Local media report official emergency policy at the Carroll County, Maryland School, calls for teachers on the second floor to lead students to the stairwell and leave them there for fire crews to rescue. (Source: reason.com)