Sideswipe

Mammoth mistake: More bad album cover art.

The best and worst of Sideswipe 2002-2004 

New Year greetings for all members of the PC Brigade.

From: Councillor Andrew Williams, North Shore City. A legally approved politically correct holiday greeting: "Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all; plus, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that New Zealand is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference/orientation (the use of which terminology is not intended to imply a preference or deference to one theory or another on the physiological nature of sexuality) of the wisher."

* * *

Surely, the independent MP Donna Awatere Huata should now be considering a lip-stapling operation. Ms Awatere-Huata has done herself no favours coming up with eye-watering clangers for the media. On Holmes on Monday, she told Richard Prebble not to be "like some 15-year-old premature ejaculator" and the previous week told National Radio, "I feel some days like I'm Camilla Parker Bowles' tampon and I've got the media and everyone sort of pulling me out reluctantly".

* * *

Best signs spotted in Washington during the peace march on January 18, 2002:

Bush/Cheney: Malice in Blunderland.

War begins with "Dubya".

Bush is proof that empty warheads can be dangerous.

How did our oil get under their sand?

Sacrifice our SUVs, not our children.

Look, I'll pay more for gas! Pillow fights only.

Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld: the asses of evil.

$1 billion a day to kill people - what a bargain.

Consume -> Consume -> Bomb -> Bomb -> Consume -> Consume.

Mainstream white guys for peace.

Hans Blix - look over here.

Let Exxon send their own troops.

War is so 20th century!

I asked for universal healthcare and all I got was this lousy stealth bomber.

War is not a family value.

* * *

Reader Michael Shah has just returned from a few days in Melbourne and witnessed the 100,000-strong peace rally held there. Following up on the Washington signs, the best placard he saw was undoubtedly "Fight Plaque, Not Iraq".

* * *