Sideswipe

En route to Samoa on Polynesian Airlines, Kim Mazur of Western Springs found the comfort suggestions in the in-flight magazine a little too ... er, suggestive.

Hip Ponsonby Road take-out Otto Woo didn't mind slumming it last week as its frontage was transformed into a McDonald's. Pork-wah? The minimalist white-on-white food establishment lent its exteriors to a film crew for use in a McDonald's UK television ad - which came complete with a double-decker bus and London phone booth. Woo's doors were even replaced with ones bearing golden arches. A hungry punter, terrified at the prospect of having to have a cheese burger instead of his cashew chicken, was relieved to see that behind the gilded doors it was business as usual.

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Sound familiar? "We know they are having parties next door, the loud hiss of the pressure-cooker, the mixer-grinder, they're pounding something like turmeric - we don't know, so the excitement - the yelling - it's all going on ... Yes, one of the worst things is the man's laugh, it's short, it's sharp, it's staccato, it's punctual - just to give you an idea, this is how it goes: "Ah ha ha ha ha, haaa ha ha ha, haaaaaaaaaaa, ha ha ha" - it goes on, louder, how much can we take? We are only human, after all ... " If you would like to air your neighbour's dirty laundry and be a part of the a new series of Neighbours at War check GreenstonePictures.com or phone (09) 630-7732 (in confidence).

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Captain Kirk sells kidney stone for US$25,000? William Shatner sold the passed kidney stone to the Golden Palace Casino (the idiots who purchased the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich off eBay) and is donating the money to Habitat for Humanity. The stone was so big, Shatner said, "You'd want to wear it on your finger ... If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond." The Associated Press news agency said Shatner turned down the original US$15,000 offer saying his Star Trek tunics have fetched more than US$100,000."

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Not such a rip-off after all? Kmart New Zealand responds to the story about a reader buying a Stockman Weekender tent on Trade Me for $500, only to find it sold at Kmart with a regular price of $299. "This tent is not yet being sold in the Kmart NZ store. This price is the Australian retail price. I cannot say when New Zealand Kmart's will get this tent in our stores but can advise the the NZ regular retail price for this tent is in fact $499".

Fair enough - but it still makes you wonder why Aussies pay about $200 less for the same thing.