Sideswipe

An Epsom reader was startled to see this three-legged model in the Ezibuy online catalogue

Beware, smugglers of bootleg movies - two black Labradors have been trained as the world's first DVD-sniffing dogs. Canine sleuths Lucky and Flo got their first major live test at London's Stansted Airport and immediately identified packages and parcels containing DVDs for destinations in Britain. The Federation Against Copyright Theft organised the dogs' training to crack down on DVD piracy. The dogs have been taught to identify DVDs in boxes, envelopes and other packaging, and discs that might be hidden in other goods for illegal sale in Britain. "This is the first time dogs have been used anywhere in the world to search for counterfeit DVDs and the results were amazing," federation director-general Raymond Leinster said. More than two million bootleg DVDs were seized in Britain last year. (AP)

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Paul Clark, professor of Chinese at Auckland University, writes: "The latest Mastercard ad, featuring an intrepid couple touring in China, is a hoot. In what the voiceover calls "Guy-lin" (he means Guilin, which rhymes with Grey Lynn) our adventurers clutch a folding map, "cost: 47 yuan" . Priceless indeed, as our couple have paid at least 10 times what they should have for the map."

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A Trade Me humorist tries to flog a telco with an auction description that reads: "One over-priced somewhat defunct CDMA network due to our big cousins in Australia, Telstra, giving us the boot. So in the near future should you wish to roam on a 027 phone, good luck! And now that they have told us that we have to share our pot of gold we are a little worried. (We thought, since the Government has so many shares in us, and they're reliant on us for their super funds, they would look after us.)"

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An unfortunate turn of phrase emerged during the tsunami-that-wasn't coverage on Morning Report last Thursday. People around the Gisborne area had "self-evacuated", they kept saying, which was meant to mean they had left all by themselves. But its repeated use made it sound like the poor evacuees' bowels bore the brunt of the tidal wave scare.