Sideswipe

Sign of the times: New twist to the flesh trade? A roadside sign on the way to Tauranga.

A black Nissan sedan was seen in central Auckland on Saturday. Emblazoned in large professional signwriting on the side were the words "GO HELEN", below in smaller font were the words "and don't ever come back".

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A reader writes: "To the driver of the Silver Jaguar driving along the Newmarket Viaduct at 10.25 on Saturday night. We were not waving at you because we thought you had a nice car and wanted you to pull over so we could car jack you, nor because we thought we knew you or wanted to be friendly. Your boot was open and things were flying about. Yours kindly,
The people in the white Altezza."

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Auckland City Council is using a graphic featuring a Mercedes Benz bus to explain to ratepayers how 5 per cent of their annual impost is earmarked for an action plan to speed up transport projects. Trouble is, Stagecoach retired the last of the region's 300 Mercedes buses a month ago, and the only action it will get will be as an exhibit at its rest home - the Museum of Transport and Technology.

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Internet urban-legend-busters Snopes have published a list of some of the funniest questions they've been asked. Here's one: "Can people see into your house if it's darker in your house than it is outside? When I look around at other houses that don't have lights on, I see darkness, a reflection or only what is immediately in front of the window, eg, curtains. As a result, I tend to act as though no one can see what I'm doing inside as long as the lights are off and there is no other source of light illuminating me. My wife, however, is often appalled by this behaviour. Should she be appalled, or am I correct?"

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And another: "They say that if a person has a pet cat and dies, if the body is not found fairly soon after death, the cat, having not been fed, will become ravenously hungry and eat the dead person's face off - JUST the face! Is this true? My cat often looks me in the face. I used to think he was just being friendly. Now I know he's just sizing me up, like a chef at a butcher shop, waiting for "the big day". Since hearing this rumour, every time my cat licks his chops it gives me the willies!"

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Mark Nuckols, a business student at Dartmouth, has begun selling a tofu-like food, Hufu, that is flavoured to resemble what he believes is the taste of human flesh.

His target is those who enjoy cooking with tofu, as well as any actual cannibals who might settle for artificiality in order to avoid legal problems and logistical hassles. Nuckols says he has never tasted human flesh but based his recipe on cannibals' reported descriptions. (Source: News of the Weird)