Sideswipe

Auckland Zoo are desperate to get their hands on bamboo for Burma (pictured) and Kashin.

Eats shoots and leaves: Fresh bamboo for elephants wanted, and lots of it. Auckland Zoo elephant keepers are desperate to get their hands on fresh, spray-free bamboo for Kashin and Burma, who eat a trailer-load every couple of days. People with fresh-cut bamboo that is spray and toxin-free can contact Peter Glamuzina at Auckland Zoo on (09) 360-4708.

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For all you singles out there looking for love, we will repeat one of the best singles ads ever placed in a newspaper. It is reported to have been listed in The Atlanta Journal. "SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call ******** and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting ... " More than 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever.

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The plight of the English family who were not allowed to buy alcohol at a supermarket has not won much sympathy from this supermarket veteran who says: "There are huge fines incurred for selling alcohol to a person under 18 and as the entire party could not prove that nobody was under 18 then the operator did the right thing in refusing service. I realise that it would have put a serious dent in their holiday plans by being refused alcohol, I only hope it hasn't tainted their view of New Zealand and that the rest of the holiday could be salvaged. I do not, however, feel it was necessary to poke fun at the operator, manager or supermarket for upholding the law and doing their job properly. Perhaps if other alcohol retailers were as careful we wouldn't have an underage drinking problem in this country. The supermarket should be congratulated."

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And it's not just supermarkets or liquor ...

"10-year-old grand-daughter, who was dressed neatly like a child, was allowed to go shopping on Boxing Day with her Australian cousins aged 13 & 15 and her New Zealand cousin aged 14. They caught the bus from Newmarket to St Lukes. The driver asked all children for ID and accepted the 14-year-old's school ID. The Australian school ID was refused as it had no photo. The driver demanded to see 10-year-old's school ID, but they do not have them. The driver refused to allow them to board unless the 10-year-old and 13-year-old paid adult fares. They paid up but this spoilt my grand-daughter's first grown-up outing without her parents." She might have had more luck trying to buy alcopops ...

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Hospitality workers seem to be the ones gritting their teeth most when it comes to irritating questions asked by customers (or patients, in this case). "Do you serve food?" was yesterday's best entry. Spare a thought for the man who works for a poultry farm. "I quite often get my clients asking me 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'. I usually reply: 'The Rooster'."