Sideswipe

One way to deal with school holiday pressure.

A snappy new television ad for NZI (voiced by Oscar Kightley) has a light-hearted grumble over other countries appropriating New Zealand's "stuff". "Shania snapped up the South Island," says the ad and "the Poms took off with Spencer, Marshall and Mehrtens." Indeed. The patriotism is poured on. What the ad doesn't mention, even when shoving an NZ flag into a pav covered in kiwifruit, is that NZI itself is owned by Australian insurance giant IAG. Zero for originality too: The voice-over sounds like the L & P ad where the bloke in the stubbies leaves the keys in his ignition, and it looks like an old 42 Below Vodka viral internet ad.

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While gruesome twosome Shane Cortese and Nerida Lister try to boost TV3's Dancing with the Stars ratings by resurrecting their vertical love affair at the final of So You Think You Can Dance on Sunday, most viewers are anticipating the next series of TV One hit Dancing with the Stars, on May 7. Returning highlights include Jason Gunn's Anthony Dixon crazy eyes, Candy Lane's unintended sexual innuendos and Norm's dance partner Carol-Ann Hickmore as judge. As for the contestants, expect another "yummy mummy" from Shortland Street, a beauty queen, a swimming star, an enduring mainland athlete, a potential mayoral candidate and - the worst kept secret of the year - a political party leader and MP for Epsom.

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Cottonelle Kids toilet paper is designed to help kids use the "right amount" of toilet paper each time. According to the directions, the "paw prints show kids how much toilet paper to use. Kids follow the prints to the puppy and tear off the right amount." Five squares appear to be the right amount. (Source: boinboing.net)


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You've got to feel a teeny-weeny bit sorry for Tom Cruise. Don't ya? On the birth of his baby, gossip site PerezHilton.com draws a very long bow and feeds it to its huge readership. "There is a much deeper meaning to the selection by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes of the name Suri for their new creature child," declares the writer known only as Perez. "Suri = Surrey, which is also a region of England, which is where the 'deceased' L. Ron Hubbard's home is located and it is the headquarters of Scientology in the UK. Coincidence? We think not!" A quick Google reveals Hubbard's home was in West Sussex, where the UK's Church of Scientology headquarters are, not Surrey.

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To address the Auckland SPCA's Easter influx, staff and volunteers have been hitting the streets with orphaned animals wearing "adopt me" signage. SPCA staffer Tarryn Prinsloo was walking 1-year-old labrador/shepherd cross, Gorgeous George in Mission Bay on Good Friday. George was on his best behaviour and lapping up the attention. However, there was one small glitch. Passing a woman having a sneaky meat pie in the Easter sun, George deftly snitched the pie out of her hands without missing a beat. Luckily the now pie-less woman was very understanding but declined to adopt George.

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Happy Birthday to the Queen who turns 80 today. And if you look 80 with grey hair and the appropriate wrinkles, handbag and tiara, the Newmarket Business Association wants to see you at its look-a-like contest tomorrow. Register today by emailing office@newmarket.net.nz before the end of business close today. The person with the most "natural resemblance" will score $500 in shopping vouchers, and they might want to think about buying themselves a new look.