Sideswipe

An excellent command of English is in short supply

Bryan Melville from Hamilton shares a conversation overheard at a local supermarket last Saturday:
Checkout: What are those? Never seen them before.
Customer: Globe artichokes.
Checkout: Glow what?
Customer: No, no, globe. Globe artichokes. You know, globe, like the globe of the world.
Checkout: The what?
Customer: Like that big basketball-sized thing in the classroom when you were at school. You know. Shows where all the countries and oceans are.
Checkout: Don't think we had one of those. Ummmm, yes I've found it. Globe artichokes. What was that you said that the world is like a ball?
Customer: Well, yes, it is, actually.
Checkout: Mmmm. Interesting idea, I guess. That'll be $54.70 in total. Do you want any cash out?

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It's now official: Angelina Jolie is the sexiest woman on the planet. In November USA Today named Angelina Jolie the sexiest woman alive. The following day another magazine, Jane, has the results of a sex poll which asked readers which celebrity they would most like to seduce ... the winner was Jude Law, at 24 per cent, but the only woman to register on the poll was Jolie, at 23 per cent. The next day the UK's Gaydar radio discovered that its lesbian listeners would most like to marry Jolie at 32 per cent (followed by Jodie Foster, Keira Knightly and Charlize Theron). This research affirms previous findings. In October, British Cosmo reports that 73 per cent of men polled would like to have sex with Jolie, who easily tops the poll. (They'd like to marry Jennifer Aniston.) In September the National Ledger discovers women would most like to sexually resemble ... Jolie (followed by Halle Berry and Demi Moore). And Playboy asks college girls whom they would cheat on their boyfriend with. Fifty-seven per cent chose Jolie. In April the first Middle East sex survey finds the sexiest star is Jolie and in March Date.com says Jolie is voted sexiest single mother (followed by Nicole Kidman and Uma Thurman. The male winner was P Diddy). Also in March, FHM Sexiest Women Poll picked Jolie (followed by Jennifer Garner, Paris Hilton and Charlize Theron). (Source: Nerve)

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Did you know ... each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David; Hearts - Charlemagne; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Diamonds - Julius Caesar.