Sideswipe

This gutsy lady was snapped driving her mobility scooter into the busy intersection at Fortunes Rd and Pakuranga Highway and through an orange light, where she narrowly missed being taken out by an oncoming car.

Hans Titze of Whakatane reckons $650 is a bit much to spend on a letter box but says that as a courier driver he is constantly amazed at the posh houses and their low-rent letter boxes. "It's not a good look," he says. "And they are the same folk who don't have a bloody door bell and are too busy playing in the spa to hear your knock. So to help all the posties and couriers in the land, please people get a decent sized letter box and I won't have to come up your driveway and run over your cat. Not that I've ever done that of course."

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Auckland premium: A reader wonders why tickets for the Royal NZ Ballet's national tour of The Wedding will cost you "$80 for premium seats in Auckland and Wellington and only $60 in Dunedin, Napier and Palmerston North (and $72 in Christchurch). The cheapest seats are $40 in Auckland and Wellington but only $30 in Dunedin and Palmerston North. Admittedly the cheapest seats at the Aotea Centre are probably much further from the stage than those in Palmerston North's Regent on Broadway. But are the premium seats any better? Are the cushions softer? Do you get chocolates?"

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No mincing of words in a recent Herald employment ad for "Sales Stars" in the automotive industry. The ad reads: "If you can follow a sales track, have a DL (drivers licence) and don't mind weekend work, then you need to pick up the phone and call me. If you are a clock-watcher, who comes late and whines a lot , please call your mother!"

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Unintentional humour written on menus across America:

1. Seven ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered with golden fried onion rings.

2. We dare you Burger for two (Served on a Stretcher) - A Whole Loaf of Crunchy French Bread running end to end with Broiled Hamburger topped with melted Yellow American Cheese, Lettuce, and Tomato. Accompanied by a mound of French Fried Potatoes, Red Pepper Relish, Ketchup, and Pickle Wedges. Delivered to your Table by Two Waitresses on a stretcher.

3. You can't beat our meat!

(Source: www.rinkworld.com)