Sideswipe

It appears there is now a direct road route to paradise on the killer highway at Maramarua, complete with a double passing lane

Sally Masters of Torbay would like to send a message to the six men in the car on Toroa St, Torbay, on Sunday at 7pm. "It was very impressive driving, screaming down the road, clipping the roundabout and then completely losing control, spinning almost 360 degrees, mounting the pavement and the grass area before slamming into the tree. All the neighbours started rushing to help, but you just slammed in reverse, stopped the car, the passengers jumped out, punched a victory salute in the air and you all drove off laughing. But what you didn't realise was that two minutes later a young boy came innocently cycling past that very spot. Had he been two minutes earlier, it wouldn't have been quite so funny would it!"

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New advice from the Welsh Assembly: Cutting the kissing scene out of Romeo and Juliet. The advice, which could soon be extended to the rest of the UK, says love scenes between pupils should "stop at a peck on the cheek to protect youngsters from abuse". It goes on: "Drama teachers must cut or adapt plays if they have to in order to protect children and young people. They should not rely on arguments about the artistic integrity of the text."

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No sooner does Julie Christie sell Touchdown Productions to the Dutch ... A homeless tramp will be given a taste of the high life in a new reality TV show called Pimp My Life, based on MTV's Pimp My Ride. The programme-makers struggled to sell the idea: "We want to make this programme because we want to give a future to extremely poor people. First the presenter will let him taste the advantages of luxury. They drive him around in a limousine, get him new clothes, take him to dinner in fancy restaurants and book him a room in a fine hotel. Then he has a week to find himself a job and an apartment. He will get help from a lot of organisations and proper training. After that week the tramp must do it on his own."

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A high school student in Illinois has been disciplined after "doodling" in his own notebook. His drawing features the initials "D. L. K." which, school officials told his mother, "could" mean "Disciples Latin King" - the Latin Kings and the Latin Disciples are two rival gangs. His mother says he's not a member of any gang. But under the school's zero tolerance rules about gang activity, the school board voted unanimously to expel Derek Leon Kelly from any state-funded school for the rest of the school year. (Source: www.thisistrue.com)