Sideswipe

Ted of Torbay has been accused of animal abuse while competing in a bike race round Lake Taupo. He was alarmed to receive a letter on SPCA letterhead that said: "We have received a formal complaint of animal abuse committed by you from a concerned citizen. The incident occurred on Saturday, November 26, at approximately 3.30am on the West Road between Turangi and Taupo. You were seen to attack a nocturnal marsupial - a protected animal of Australia - with a bicycle. The animal has suffered severe abrasions and extensive haematomas as a result of the incident. The mental anguish suffered will require months of intensive counselling to enable the animal to lead a sustainable life in the wild once again." Mortified, Ted rang the organisation, only to be told the writer of the letter, Peter P Ossum, was on leave.

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Reader Chris Windram missed out on lunch in the Viaduct because of a public transport bungle: "For all those ferry commuters from Birkenhead /Northcote/Bayswater who waited in vain during the public holidays for a ferry, it seems Auckland Regional Transport in their wisdom withdrew the subsidy from Fullers and Yellow Water Taxis for ferries operating during the Christmas and New Year period and didn't get the message out to commuters thoroughly enough. All year they've been telling us to leave the car at home and use public transport. Some bureaucrat decided we did not need a service at all."

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Last Thursday, Ohio man Gary Rosheisen fell out of his wheelchair and couldn't get up. Fortunately, his cat Tommy called 911. From the Associated Press: "[Police officer Patrick] Daugherty said police received a 911 call from Rosheisen's apartment, but there was no one on the phone. Police called back to make sure everything was okay, and when no one answered, they decided to check things out. That's when Daugherty found Tommy next to the phone. Rosheisen got the cat three years ago to help lower his blood pressure. He tried to train him to call 911, unsure if the training ever stuck."

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BBC Radio 3 has decided not to commemorate Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's 250th birthday this month in the usual manner of famous classical icons by playing all of the composer's works on the air, as they did for the birthdays for Beethoven, Bach and Webern. "Our view is that with Mozart end to end, the overall effect would be detrimental to the music," said the station's director. The real reason is probably a more practical one - the complete output of Mozart's work would take an estimated 14 days. (Source: World of Wonder).