Sideswipe

Maria wonders why all employment advertisements can't be as straightforward as the one which ran in this paper on Friday.

Femme Fatale 'gentlemans club' wants a woman on reception who can work unsupervised, smile, talk,and have a sense of humour at the same time, take constructive criticism without backchatting or crying, use her brain while at work, not after work, do as instructed without moaning, and who turns up on time actually awake.

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Reuters reports that an Italian couple stole 50,000 euros ($NZ90,187) from a 47-year-old woman in the Sicilian city of Palermo after convincing her they were vampires who would impregnate her with the son of the Anti-Christ if she did not pay them. The man, a cabaret singer, and his girlfriend took the money from their victim over four years by selling her pills at 3000 euros each that they said would abort the Anti-Christ's son.

Police only uncovered the fraud after the woman's family became concerned when they discovered she had spent all her savings.

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Rock hardman Henry Rollins claims that William Shatner's garage is full of portraits of the former Starship captain. There are paintings of Shatner now, as TJ Hooker, as Captain Kirk - at all ages. Apparently he is constantly being given paintings by Trekkies at convention but doesn't have the heart to throw them out. (Source: Popbitch)

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Obesity epidemic? What's that? We guess it didn't come up in conversation around Tariana Turia's dinner table the other night when she served up 'Tariana's Pasta', a delicious-sounding meal that included two packets of bacon, fried onions and a litre of cream. Sideswipe is looking forward to next week's Herald on Sunday peek at Jim Anderton's kitchen antics and hoping as a Zone' diet fan, his recipes redress the balance.

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Pork's his poison: Did anyone really think it was Mike King? Just in case, his manager emailed the Herald to set them straight. "Mike wishes the NZ public (and especially all Pork eaters, Ford drivers and Appliance Shed customers) to know that he has no connection or involvement with the scandal and has not been charged or had his name suppressed!

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Staying together because of the house: Research shows one in 20 British couples are staying together because they claim they cannot afford to break up due to high property prices and rising levels of personal debt.