Sideswipe

The ongoing joke in hit movie Meet the Parents is transformed into entrepreneurial hilarity at Kmart

A reader drove from Auckland to his uncle's funeral in Te Kauwhata on Tuesday. Arriving half an hour early, he and his companions looked hopefully for a coffee shop for a quick latte and a carrot muffin, in what can best be described as a "traditional rural NZ town". "We were delighted to find a great little place called the City Cafe, which was bereft of custom at 10.30am" - which he assumed was because the locals probably had their morning smoko on the job. "I was smiling to myself about the cafe's name until I noticed all our drinks had been served with a Jaffa tucked onto the teaspoon. Did we stick out that much?"

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Responding to the outrage over $4 punnets of chips at Eden Park, another reader has a frustrating food and beverage experience. He writes: "We had planned ahead [we thought] and taken 2 x 1.5 litre plastic bottles of soft drink, only to be told at the bag check that anything over 1 litre was not allowed in. Result was we had to throw away the 3 litres that cost us $4 at Foodtown, and then buy 2 x 330ml bottles of soft drink inside for $8. Why can Eden Park not be satisfied with the entry fee and then charge a reasonable price for food/drinks, instead of ripping of the captive audience?

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As if Hollywood stars haven't suffered enough indignity at having to be red carpet product placement for the fashion industry. Now their freebies are being eyed-up by the tax man. Guests who took home goody bags from Monday's 78th Annual Academy Awards ceremony may have to pay $30,000 in taxes on their new acquisitions. The bags, which included a $7000 Victoria's Secret underwear set and a coupon for Lasik surgery, are worth approximately $100,000 each. And the IRS has declared they count as taxable income. IRS Commissioner Mark Everson quips, "We want to make sure the stars 'walk the line' when it comes to these goody bags." (Source: IMDB.com)

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Self-aware humour doesn't translate into a good soundbite for Donald Trump who says this about his 24-year-old daughter on a US talk show ... "I don't think Ivanka would [pose for Playboy], although she does have a very nice figure. I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." Trump's publicity guy told the Associated Press that Trump "was making fun of himself for his tendency to date younger women".