Sideswipe

Adam Goldwater swears he didn't try to buy what this shop in Whangamata appears to be selling, despite the bargain price

The first day of high school for a group of young Aucklanders catching the train from New Lynn to Boston Road yesterday morning was also a lesson in bureaucratic overkill. A reader writes: "The ticket collector was quite determined, even though the group looked well under 16 and were in school uniform, that the kids were going to pay full fare because they didn't have a school ID. The fact that this was their first day at high school and IDs hadn't been issued yet didn't persuade her to give them a students fare. Students starting the school year would be well advised to take their birth certificate if they plan on taking our rail service".

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Political Correctness unearthed on PC slayers site? National MP Dr Wayne Mapp is described on his website as "National Party Spokesperson for Labour & Industrial Relations, and Political Correctness issues". Shouldn't that be spokesman?

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Most embarrassing moments: A reader writes: "While sharing the elevator at a local hotel, some friendly guy, instead of staring blankly at the closed doors, started up a conversation with me. 'How are you?' he asked. 'Fine,' I answered, a little surprised, but happy to engage. He then asked, 'What are you up to?' I launched into a full spiel about why I was staying in the hotel. It was my 10th wedding anniversary and we'd parked the kids at their grandparents ... Abruptly, he turned to me and said, 'I am on the phone, love.' It was only then that I realised he was talking on his mobile with an ear-piece thingie whatsit. How dumb did I feel." Email your embarrassing moments to Sideswipe and share the humiliation. Anonymity assured.

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Christine Ryder, 53, says she was so depressed she asked a friend, Kevin Reeves, 40, whom she had met in a mental hospital in Kent, England, to find a hitman to kill her. He offered to do it himself (he was her friend, after all!) and accepted £20,000 ($51,000) for the job. After several arranged dates to kill her came and went and she was still alive, a frustrated Ryder filed a criminal breach of contract complaint, and prosecutors took him to trial. Even Reeves' own defence attorney admitted the scheme was "mean". Reeves was sentenced to 15 months in jail and ordered to pay £2000 in compensation.

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Are penguins washing up on the beach all over Auckland? Following yesterday's story about a penguin, near death, washing up on Takapuna beach, a dead penguin has washed up on Orewa beach. A full explanation in tomorrow's Sideswipe.