Sideswipe

When ya gotta go...it's good to have somewhere to go.

Laws of Physics in the Cartoon World

* Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquising flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of gravity takes over.

* The time required for an object to fall 20 storeys is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down 20 flights to try to catch it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

* All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the Earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

* Guns, no matter how powerful, or no matter where aimed, will do nothing more than char flesh, blow away feathers, or rearrange beaks.

* Everything falls faster than an anvil.

(Source: Chicago Sun Times)

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Oklahoma state senator Frank Shurden has proposed legislation to bring back the "sport" of cockfighting, which the state outlawed in 2002. To appease critics, Shurden, apparently serious, suggested that the roosters wear tiny boxing gloves instead of razor cleats on their legs and electronic-sensitive vests to record hits and non-lethally determine the winner of a match. (Source: Chicago Tribune)

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Hackers have gained access to Paris Hilton's mobile phone and posted its contents on the web. The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the site featured "topless shots of the trashy heiress snogging an anonymous girlfriend, her digital notebook with cryptic entries such as 'Lenny Kravitz wants me to do', and a list of more than 500 phone numbers belonging to the likes of Ashley Olsen, Frankie Muniz and Anna Kournikova". The newspaper concluded it might all be a hoax. It tried calling Eminem, Christina Aguilera and Fred Durst, but each number was wrong or led to a generic voicemail inbox.