Leaps and Bounds: 'The violence only stopped when my dad passed away'

Imagine growing up as a child with no friends. Imagine being so painfully shy that it is easier to be silent. Imagine never being able to tell anyone about the violence and alcohol abuse at home.

Sam Koti does not have to imagine. By the age of 14, Sam was so withdrawn that she would wag school rather than face talking to people. Now, at 15, she attends an alternative education programme, where she is learning to make friends for the first time.

"When I was little, I was brought up with alcohol and violence. It stopped when my Dad passed away, when I was 13. When I was at school I couldn't co-operate or socialise with other people. I just kept to myself.

"I'm at Primary Care Group now, at an AE course - alternative education. It's for children who can't stay in school or be around a lot of people and for people who can't socialise with others. I've been here since June last year. It's cool. I like it here.

"We basically socialise instead of work.

"We do work - but we socialise more. I've become brighter, I've become more sociable with people and I can communicate with everyone now. I was too shy [before] to really talk to people.

"There are nine other girls [at AE]. They're all here for different reasons. Like for getting kicked out of school and stuff like that. I was at Auckland Girls' [Grammar] but I started wagging and stuff like that. I chose to leave.

"I didn't want to go to school at all. I didn't really talk to other people. Now, I've become friends with the other girls at AE.

"I've got one older brother and three older sisters. All of them had the same Dad but I had a different Dad, so they weren't really around when it was happening. [I still live] with Mum and my brother and one of my sisters, so it's cool now.

"I felt excited and happy when I won the award.

"I was a bit nervous about meeting the others [award winners], but I was all right. I could cope with it.

"I want other people to learn ... Don't be shy. Try to make friends.

"Don't be scared about anything, just be yourself and don't get involved with people like that [abusive]. Don't have violence around, and don't bring kids into it."