Kerre Woodham: Forget facts, give us the gossip behind the scandal

So Brent Todd's finally lifted the cone of silence to reveal that he is one of the sports stars linked to the Great Celebrity Drugs case. This, of course, is the reality show starring B-grade celebs that's the biggest entertainment to hit town since Nicky left Eric for Matthew. Or indeed since Nicky left Matthew for Shelton. Or, I suppose to be up to date, since Nicky left Shelton for Brendan and Shelton spilled the beans. And his guts.

Now that Brent's put up his hand as one of the two sports stars of interest to the rozzers, the rumour mill has churned less frantically. For a while there, I thought the nation would spontaneously combust under the heat of fevered speculation and the blaze of scrutiny trained on the wanna-bes, the has-beens and the never-weres who frequent the society pages of the Sunday papers.

Being out of the loop meant one could enjoy, in an admittedly slightly sadistic fashion, the sight of so many luvvies scrambling to cover their arses - which would have been a first for many of them.

The official party line was to deny that you'd ever had any involvement in drugs. As far as you were aware, grass was what you cut outside your family home and the only white powder you'd ever buried your nose in was the talc that dusted your much loved baby.

That, of course, didn't stop the rest of the country from slandering and damning - indeed for a while there, falling as it did during a lull in the All Black's calendar, slandering and damning became our national sport. But now Brent's put paid to at least 50 per cent of the speculation, leaving only one man standing. And it seems most people have a fair idea who that is.

Besides, the mystery man's charges are, by all accounts, of a relatively minor nature. Todd, who appeared on TV3 to make his shock revelation, a revelation easily as shocking as any of those made on Celebrity Treasure Island, says he's never ever bought drugs or on-sold drugs and he's quite bewildered that anyone would think he would.

Possibly the reason people think he might is because his name appears in the police documents. But innocent until proven guilty and all that, and the case still has to go to court. Who knows what might happen then? But by that time, I very much doubt the New Zealand public will care.

The actual legalities of the case will be an anti-climax compared with the imaginary drug-crazed orgies involving lubricious Kiwi celebs that have given the public so much prurient joy over the past month.

I was reading that the Malaysian Indian Muslim Congress has urged Malaysians to use SMS technology to develop a society with high morals and respect for one another. The spokesman said man's intelligence and wisdom had led to the creation of sophisticated gadgets to be used for comfort and convenience. They should not, he warned darkly, be used to spread dangerous rumours and lies. What a killjoy! Although, in my quieter moments, I'm appalled at my own desire to know all the dirty details and the delicious schadenfreude I've felt as names have been tossed around, I don't think many of us would have missed this scandal for quids.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY