Kerre Woodham: Bloodthirsty possum killing reveals us all as big city softies

One dead possum and the nation's convulsed.

We kill millions of the little suckers every year and one possum meets an untimely end at the hands of a bunch of Taranaki students and everyone has an opinion.

Admittedly as ends go, it's not the one I'd want. Being chased around a secondary school gym by a bunch of testosterone-engorged Spotswood College students and having the life beaten out of me with a hammer is not the way I'd choose to check out. But there we go.

They're nasty creatures and carriers of all sorts of hideous diseases - the possums, not the teenagers - and they're a threat to farming, so it's open season on possums.

The fact that many New Zealanders were outraged that the possum was killed by hammer-wielding seventh formers is yet more proof for the rural community, as if any more were needed, that New Zealanders are getting all citified and soft.

They reckon that if more teenagers were out bashing possums instead of sitting inside listening to Satanic rock bands and talking to serial killers on the internet, then we'd all be better off as a society.

Other, more tender souls, feel the possums have as much right to live as any other living creature, and should have been liberated from the gym in a loving and respectful manner, and set free back into the bush where they could continue their campaign to wipe out native flora and fauna in peace.

These are undoubtedly the readers of He Korero Paihama - or the Possum Research News (now Karerehe Kino or Vertebrate Pest Research). Google it. It's quite the little mine of information on all things possum related. I kid you not.

Admittedly, I think the situation in Spotswood could have been handled better. The PE teacher could have sent the kids on a hearty hike around the Taranaki hinterland while he/she/the caretaker disposed of the feral intruder. There was no need to turn it into a bloodsport free-for-all.

But I don't mind possums being killed humanely. In an arrogantly humanist stance, I am willing to declare that I have more right to life than a possum. I even dare to state that I do more for this country than a possum does. And if I'm wrong, and every living thing is as sacred as the sperm in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life Part One, well, let my punishment be reincarnation as a possum.