The hurt is still there, but it is time to move on. Jeanette Fitzsimons is gently, but firmly prodding Green Party colleagues to focus on life after Rod Donald.
Nearly three months after his shock death, the party is still paying homage.
There was a tree-planting ceremony in Marlborough the weekend before last to mark Donald's longrunning campaign to close the Government's satellite eavesdropping base at Waihopai. And more tributes flowed at the party's annual policy conference last weekend in Whangarei.
However, this time the tributes came from delegates from the regions who felt they had not had a chance to pay their respects - rather than being another outpouring of grief from the party hierarchy.
Even so, Donald's replacement as male co-leader is still four months away.
That delay has pluses and minuses. The long run-up to the election at the party's main conference in June will guarantee the minor party plenty of the one thing it craves - publicity.
Fitzsimons' fears - probably unfounded - are of a repeat of Act's bruising leadership battle two years ago.
More likely, the Greens' election will become a surrogate debate over strategic direction. It is unlikely to become as acrimonious as Act's contest.
Fitzsimons, sole leader in the interim, is in a position to exercise huge influence on that debate and the outcome of the co-leadership contest.
Her stocks have never been higher. She shrewdly gave the party plenty of time to grieve over Donald. She has earned huge respect for her dignified shouldering of the extra burden heaped on her by his death.
She has been surefooted in carrying the party through its darkest hour.
She is now using her influence to jolt the party to address long-neglected weak points. For example, her speech to the policy conference was blunt in telling rank-and-file members they had become too reliant on the party's MPs and the resources that flow to the party from being in Parliament.
The big talking point, however, is her strong hints that the new co-leader comes from outside the caucus.
She insists these are not hints and that she is simply detailing the qualities she thinks the party should be looking for, while scrupulously avoiding naming suitable names. As she says, she has to be neutral. After all, she has to be able to work with whomever wins. But it is a tricky balancing act.
Fitzsimons has said it would be "good" to have someone who could build the party outside Parliament, while she concentrates on the Greens' work inside Parliament.
She also believes the party is looking for someone who will be the "new face" of the Greens. Someone who can see the "big picture" and help others who are "trapped in their special issues".
Her job description fits Russel Norman, the former campaign manager who has just been appointed the party's development co-ordinator, a role which will see him working with grassroots members.
Other names being floated as potential candidates from outside the caucus include GE-Free New Zealand spokesman Jon Carapiet, Wellington activist Roland Sapsford and former Greens national co-convener Dave Clendon.
Significantly, Fitzsimons' terms would appear to rule out Nandor Tanczos, one of the two male members of the six-strong caucus, the other being Keith Locke.
Mr Tanczos, however, argues that the party's strategic direction should determine who leads it - not the other way around. Will he be standing? He isn't saying - not yet anyway.
<EM>John Armstrong:</EM> Fitzsimons calls shots in race for co-leader
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