Greg Dixon's weekend

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS BY KIM HILL

The ad for the thing invited punters to "imagine a room occupied by Jung, Simone de Beauvoir, Samuel Beckett and Anais Nin." Sadly, the Readers & Writers Festival's Friday night feast at the Aquamarine room at the Hilton last week turned out to be more like being in the blood red room with Jung, de Beauvoir, Beckett, Nin and a vicious attack dog.

Punters paid $25-30 for a ringside seat. Biographer Deirdre Bair, Caribbean-British author Caryl Phillips and science writer Simon Singh were there to talk books. However broadcaster Kim Hill, the chairman, appeared to have confused the event with a 10-round slugfest and was clearly ready to ruuumble. One ringside punter, a fan of la Hill, said she seemed to think she was interviewing three politicians over the latest outrage: Rough questions, interruptions and refusing to accept their answers. And with black writer Phillips especially, she just wouldn't let go. On and on she went about how he must be angry about racism - demanding in fact to know if he was "an angry young man" even though he said repeatedly that he wasn't. Eventually Phillips replied: "I'm not angry but you seem to be." Hill's response? An eye roll and a "whatever". After an audience member told her off for badgering she rolled her eyes again and seemed to think it was they who needed to be, well, brought to book - apparently in the belief that everyone but her was missing the plot. They should have billed it as face-to-fractious with Kim Hill.

THE OMEN II

Loyal readers will recall my mentioning a couple of weeks back that the British New Labour member for Peterborough in the East Midlands lost to her Conservative rival. Spookily, the loser's name was Helen Clark. Even spookier, the Independent went on to run this photo and brief story. A case of mistaken identity? Hard to tell, given our Clark has also recently been "damaged by several unfavourable stories in the popular press."

SILVERWARE SOUVENIR

I'm not sure what seemed more bizarre - that the bloke who beat up the America's Cup with a sledgehammer back in 1997 thinks someone will pay $1000 at auction for the t-shirt (plus a coin and newspaper report) he was wearing that day or that the guy intends to use the money to fund his life-coach business. What next? Saddam Hussein flogging off his beard to help run a How To Start A War Without Weapons Of Mass Destruction course? 
 

A ROOM WITH, WELL, BUGGER ALL

And you thought Auckland apartments were small and overpriced. London's smallest apartment, a converted storage closet measuring just 5 sq m, has found a tenant for $1500 per month. Real estate agent Gordon Blausten told the AFP agency that the "tiny but trendy" apartment packs in a kitchenette, shower and wardrobe under a loft bed. Located in a turn-of-the-century Edwardian building in the heart of the fashionable Notting Hill area of west London, the apartment found a tenant after only three days on the market. "A young professional woman, with a very active social life, is now living there," said Blausten. "She probably doesn't want to spend too much time there, or at least, I hope she won't." No, she'll be sleeping over in something more spacious, say a local telephone box.