Farida Master: Getting too up close and personal in the morning rush-hour

I don't know if it is anything to do with the fact that many Aucklanders lead a regimental life five days a week, driving to work and back at ungodly hours, or the fact that a lot of us spend too many waking hours manoeuvring our mechanical lives in a box on wheels, but I have discovered a way to fight road rage.

In order to kill monotony, frustration and let out spleen at the man behind yet another steering wheel, I have devised a new pastime. It's playing Peeping Tom.

Have you tried to watch people in their cars as they drive to work? The expressions, which could be a cartoonist's delight, vary from gloomy to gregarious, depending on the weather. But what's more fun is seeing what they are up to.

You can bet they're doing more than driving in that morning circus with bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Did someone say life is a balancing act? Ask the woman whose car is inevitably in the next lane to mine, as I drive my daughter to school every morning.

The well turned-out woman is always intently reading the neatly folded newspaper, placed with one hand on the steering wheel at every traffic signal while the other hand balances a cup of tea.

She gives the feeling that she is sitting in her little garden on wheels as she gazes at the morning headlines and finds out what's good with the world.

How she manages to juggle the teacup and the reams of paper is anyone's guess. I could perhaps surprise her by rolling down my window and asking her for some helpful hints.

But we wouldn't want to upset that lovely morning brew, would we?

Then there are those who are in love with the mirror as they are constantly reading their lips (to see if they are red enough) or curling their eyelashes and then painstakingly applying mascara.

Wow, that's quite a vanity parade. Especially when you have one eye on the compact you are holding and the other on the rear-view mirror while trying to concentrate on the art of lining those kissers and then the occasional glance at the red light.

If only life was so simple.

Unfortunately, the impatient man behind has honked loud enough to make her jump out of her skin. So there.

The free-hand sculpting work goes for a toss. After all, wearing a glamorous face is never an easy task. Which is why the precious time at the next traffic light is used for some repair work with the hope that no rude intruder will mar the morning beauty regime.

But if you think life in the not-so-fast lane is only about women and their love affair with their reflecting glass, you couldn't be more wrong.

Oh yes, I have enjoyed watching those cool dudes do their number in front of the mirror, but the time I had a sneak preview of a close shave deserves a special mention.

Yes, the guy behind the steering wheel was all lathered up and doing an entire shaving job on his overnight stubble.

And then I had the misfortune of watching yet another sleepy-eyed bloke actually brush his teeth - not a pretty picture. Don't ask me where he decided to gargle. Thankfully the lights had turned green by then.

* Farida Master is a feature writer on the Aucklander. She travels into the city from Pakuranga each day.