Roads, roads, roads, I'm so sick of roads. Like Professor Henry Higgins and his blessed "words", Auckland politicians have become obsessed with strips of bitumen.
What a breath of fresh air if they spent even a tenth of the time and energy they devote on the roads treadmill, to supporting the things that really make a community great. Conserving our past, for instance and supporting the arts.
Over the past couple of weeks, councils around the region have been softening us up for swingeing rate increases in aid of the mighty asphalt. The Government has joined in with a 5c hike in petrol tax to collect another $70 million a year over the next 10 years, for Auckland roads alone.
It's in the midst of this roads mania that a delegation from an Auckland cultural treasure, the Auckland Philharmonia, fronts up to the mayoral forum on Friday, cap in hand, seeking a lifeline.
The orchestra's rescue squad is refusing to talk before the meeting, but enough detail has appeared in this paper over the past week to underline how crucial the response of our civic leaders will be.
Can I just point out to the politicians that building, or not building, a kilometre or two of highway is going to be neither here nor there as far as solving the region's intractable transport woes is concerned.
On the other hand, turning the Philharmonia away in its hour of crisis because all the politicians can think of is roads would be a calamity for our cultural well-being, and for our wider image.
Before deciding, the politicians might like to reflect that the extension of the Alpurt motorway from Orewa to Puhoi is going to cost around $45 million per kilometre. Given the annual turnover of the AP is $6.3 million - 25 per cent of that, public funding - imagine what a cultural oasis Auckland could be if we built a kilometre or two less of motorway each year and spent the money on artistic endeavour instead.
Our politicians like to brag about our ability to foot it with the capital cities of Australia. They'll be hard-pressed to do that, sans an orchestra providing a focus for all things musical.
I've long supported the concept of the Auckland Philharmonia getting a share of the $10 million Government funding going to the Wellington-based New Zealand Symphony Orchestra, and the AP taking over some of the NZSO's touring role in the upper North Island.
But the Auckland-based Prime Minister, Helen Clark and the Minister for Auckland, Judith Tizard, are both wedded to the status quo. They're also reluctant to upset other regional orchestras by treating Auckland's as a special case, even though by every measure it is.
That leaves Auckland to support its own. Which by now we're used to. Be it the orchestra, the art gallery or museums, we know the rules. First we pay taxes to Wellington to pay a third or more of the costs of its "national" institutions, then we have to pay again through local rates, to support our own, often better-quality, showcases - Auckland Museum, Museum of Transport of Technology, National Maritime Museum, Auckland Philharmonia.
The injustice is clear, but bleating will not help the AP in its time of need. It needs help now. And that's means self-help from the region.
One way would be to levy a small rate across the region, as is done for the Auckland Museum and Motat. The drawback is it would require an act of Parliament and consultation.
A speedier solution would be for the regional council to practise what it preaches in its mission statement, which pledges to work "in partnership with our regional community to achieve social, economic, cultural and environmental well-being".
I'm hard-pressed to come up with much linked to cultural well-being emanating from the regional council recently.
Here's a chance to redeem themselves. They wouldn't even have to strike a rate. There's an annual income of around $50 million flowing into the coffers from the assets of the Auckland Regional Holdings. Only 85 per cent of this has to be spent on roads and sewers. That leaves around $7.5 million a year going begging. What an orchestra we could have on that sort of funding.
<EM>Brian Rudman:</EM> Roads a dead end for a city without an orchestra
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