Brian Rudman: As Auckland gorges, the Queen St makeover commences

Vulcan Lane and those automated tui feeders. Khartoum Place and the suffragist memorial. Swanson St and the dreaded blue stone. They were supposed to be the triumphant curtain-raisers to the $100 million makeover of the CBD streetscape, providing the build-up for the grand climax, the transformation of Queen St itself.

But so far it's been a disaster, with all three of the above games postponed following pitch invasions by protesting shopkeepers and/or ageing feminists.

Shell-shocked and under the cover of Christmas, Auckland City's battered but ever-plucky bureaucrats have now staggered back with their plans for the big one, the $30 million-plus facelift of the golden mile.

While the rest of us are lying on a beach somewhere, digesting our Christmas excesses, they're planning to whip in a team from Hire a Hubby on January 4 to begin transforming "Auckland's iconic Queen St into a world-class, people-friendly main street".

Since the initial plans were unrolled in March, a lot of fine-tuning has gone on, and, because of cost inflation, we are told, the price has escalated from an initial $23.4 million to make over from Customs St to Karangahape Rd to $30 million for the shortened stretch from Customs St to Mayoral Drive.

There's even a nod in the direction of my earlier criticism about the rickety verandas needing replacement if Queen St was ever to achieve the dream of becoming world-class. But only a nod. "The council is aware that concern is often raised over the state of repair of existing canopies in the street. The council will be working with Heart of the City and the Property Council in the New Year to encourage property owners to repair existing canopies, where necessary, in support of the upgrade of Queen St."

You would think that when ratepayers were forking out $100 million to upgrade the CBD streetscape, shop and property owners wouldn't need the"encouragement" of city hall to make their front doors world-class as well.

You might have thought, also, that the property owners would have been interested in upgrading the quality of their tenants, if creating a first-class shopping environment was to become a reality. But Connal Townsend, national director of the Property Council, who joined Mayor Dick Hubbard at the launch of the upgrade on Friday, rather bridled at this, saying his members "weren't into social engineering". Mayor Hubbard came to his rescue suggesting "the invisible hand" of the market would ensure a better class of shopping would naturally emerge. I like to think he was having a gentle dig at Mr Townsend. But perhaps not.

Still, why should the property owners feel shamed into providing decent overhead cover from the elements when the city council continues to renege on it's obligation? The area of pavement crying out for cover is the stretch fronting Aotea Square up to the Town Hall entrance.

The latest excuse is "no built structures including canopies are allowed to be positioned in front of the Town Hall facade which is a Protected Zone under the council's District Plan". So instead, they've decided to put up a stretch of glass canopy on the footpath on the opposite side of Queen St. How weird is that?

If there's a dopey provision in the District Plan, then for goodness sake change it. Or ignore it, as the council is quite happy to do as far as noise level restrictions at Western Springs Stadium are concerned.

I must also have another bleat about the planned destruction of the thriving foreign trees along Queen St in favour of nikau palms and cabbage trees. It's a gesture towards the swampy origins of the street. Between Fort St and Custom St there will be no trees, to signify this area is reclaimed from the sea. Of course, to be consistent they'd also then need to rip out the ridiculous kauri forest opposite Britomart Station. But another clique of bureaucrats backed that stupid idea, so it stays.

I like Queen St's liquid ambers and its cabbage trees, but the isolated trial nikau should be returned to the wild. As for more cabbage trees, what if the incurable, sudden-death-syndrome that has been wiping out this native for two decades strikes. What price a resilient liquid amber then?