KEY POINTS:
A lively debate continues as to whether is it OK for a 10-year-old to have facial piercings and should he have to remove them while at school?
A Hawke's Bay primary school has warned a mother to remove her son's facial piercings because of "safety issues". Donna Rollinson said she was "shocked" to receive a call from Onekawa School's principal last week condemning her son Shaquille's piercings: "He (the principal) lectured me, and basically told me he shouldn't have been allowed to get it, and I should be a more responsible parent."
This forum debate has now closed. Here is a selection of your views on the topic:
Bill
School uniforms are scary - let kids do as they please. If you equate piercing and tattoos with alcohol, hard drugs and crime you are a bigoted idiot. For all those sending in views such as "in my day this would never happen because children were considered property until the age of 18" Relax. Personal freedoms are good - censorship of inconsequential jewelry is bad. What is the message we send to the kids by saying: "I dont like how you look so you must change to make me comfortable."
Wendy
Are piecings of the face anymore dangerous than glasses or braces? No. In fact I would argue than a child is in more physical danger wearing glasses than an eyebrow piecing. If the school did not object 2 years ago when the young lad first turned up with the jewellery in place, then they should shut up now and get back to the role of educating their pupils instead of acting as fashion police. If they are worried about injury when "rough-housing' then get the Mother and her son to sign a waiver absolving the school of any injury responsibilty concerning the piecings. This young lad seems to have a firm grasp of how he sees himself and the confidence and willpower to show the world. Good on him and his Mother for recognising his strong self image.
Denise Sefonte
I have facial piercings, and love seeing other facial piercings. There is a time and place for them though. While I worked in corporate offices, I took the piercings out for "professional" purposes, but while I was dairy farming I took all piercings out for safety (and hygienic) purposes - a cow flicking her tail could wrap a tail hair around a piercing and rip it straight out. But these views are coming from me, an educated 33 yr old who made her own educated choices. I think a 10 yr old is just far too young for that type of piercing - safety, morally, or otherwise - where does the line get drawn? What comes next? Branding? Tattoos?
Karen
I would have said no for the simple fact that when you remove a eyebrow piercing it leaves a scar.My daughter is 18 she has been hairdressing for two years and has a few piercings thankfully the one thing she has listened to me about is no eyebrow piercing.I do not like to see young children with piercings they have the rest of their lives to be adults but only a little while to be kids.
J
I seriously laugh in the faces of people who call piercings and other body modifications "disfigurements." If that was true, then piercers, tattooists, scarification artists and surgical modders [subdermal/transdermal implants etc.] would not have the right to do what they do. Piercings, tattoos and scarification goes back centuries and is much more "normal" than hair dyes, hair straighteners, breast implants and botox which I bet the majority of the anti-piercing brigade have no problem with. So long as the piercings on the lad were done properly [in other words, not with a gun which many people seem to think is okay on even ear lobes] and under sterile conditions then there is no problem with him having piercings at his age. There is no law [at least not in the UK where I am from] on age of consent for piercings except for genital piercings [18 years of age] and the kid is more likely to get stuck by lightening than "get his tongue ripped out." I myself have had 22 piercings so far, with 12 in now and I can safely say that the only problems they have caused me is the occasional stud getting caught on my gum from my lip piercings in the first week of the piercing, because longer studs have to be used to allow for any swelling. I had 5 piercings at high school, which were 2 lip piercings, a stretched lobe and a scaffold [2 cartilage piercings connected with one barbell] and they were kept concealed with retainers, and I have been to shows to see my favourite metal bands and I have yet to have one of my piercings suffer. And let me tell you, mosh pits at shows are much more brutal/"dangerous" than school.
Steve
Allowing a child to have parts of their body pierced is no different to parents allowing doctors to mutilate boys by circumcising them simply because the parents "want to".What's next? 10 yr olds with tattoos? How about the same boy with a Prince Albert? You laugh! Hey - if he can have his eyebrow or lip pierced what's to stop any other part being done? Yes, you see how stupid it is. The sooner parents are held to account for their abysmal child-raising abilities the better.
John
Whatever happened to the days of a ten year old child doing what he is told? When we were kids, the principal made the rules, not the 10 year olds.
Michael Barlev
Whether the kid wants the metal in his face or not is his own choice I guess. The point is that schools have rules, and if he has to take it out while at school, for whatever reason the school puts forward, he should do so. As for the people who say they would by their kids a toy just because they wanted it - and therefore get them a piercing if they wanted it - are stupid. You dont just get stuff for kids because they want it. Since when do kids really need to get what they want? They are ten! Ten! They don't know anything. Spoilt kids get what they want. Respecful kids get what they are given. The latter grow up to be better citizens.
Vicky
I watched the interview of Donna and her son by Carol on Campbell Live.. One thing is perfectly obvious and that is that the little 10 year old is in control. What a cheeky little snot! If the parent cannot say no to an unreasonable request of her 8-yr old son (and she said that she did not want him to have the piercing at the time)then I pity her when this creature is a teenager. The mother said that she and her son got on well - it certainly looks as though that might be true as long as she is doing what he wants her to do! Come on, Donna, be a parent. Set some boundaries and stick to them. Learn to say no and let your no be no. The school is right. There should be some uniform code and the students should abide by the rules of the school. For goodness sake, these are primary school children!
Joel
If they are not through his eyeballs or his finger tips then they do not prevent him from reading and writing. He should be free to be pierced whereever he likes. School is for learning not restricting self expression. If this kid is attending school that is all that matters. Do not make a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with his education. If he had long hair would that be an issue? If girls can have piercings why cant boys. There are more important issues to be concerned with ie: drugs, behavioural problems, truancy etc.
Anne
It is sad to see what the world is coming to. I should think a child at 10 would still need some form of guidance before letting them have their ways. I am sure the next "cool" thing the child would indulge in would be body tattoing and his mum would say 'why not!'. I am sure he is not even old enough to understand what is right or wrong..legal or not. Kindly someone: please define parenting!
Cushla
How ridiculous. This mother would be the very first one to complain to a school if the child ended up with half his face missing due to the piercing being ripped out in a playground accident!
Simon
Get over it mother. School rules are school rules. If you dont like them go somewhere else.
Eve
As I read through all the views, I am wondering where the boy's father stands in all this and the fact that this boy "saved and saved" to get them!! What am I missing? I am a mother of two boys and if my husband and/or disagreed with something they had wanted at 8 years old then that would have been the end of the discussion. This childs mother needs to take her parenting responsibilities a little more responsibly.
Daz
Shaquille? I think piercings are the least of his problems.
Rob
This child wanted piercings "because they are cool". I understand that surfing on the roof of a moving vehicle is also 'cool'. There are some decisions that a child is never going to be wise/experienced/qualified enough to make. Piercings would be one of them. A responsible/wise/intelligent parent has to make these kinds of decisions. Aside from the possibility that piercings can be ripped out in rough and tumble play, there is also a chance that they could damage someone else (eg an eyebrow piercing going into anothers eye as children clash heads). This parent has no obvious consideration for other pupils at the school and clearly lacks the ability to make adult decisions. Just because times change does not mean that all things change for the better. It's just a cop-out to say that all children should be allowed any piercing because things are different today. I say congratulations to that school and that principal on making an adult decision that will benefit and protect all the children, and shame on that mother, and all those who verbally lambaste the principal for taking his stand.
Philip Howley
I question the intelligence of the 10 year olds parent(s). Remembering being that age,I know how cruel boys can be.I would have neen targeting this kid for a hiding .Imagine how the piercing will bleed,the pain it will inflict.Just the thing small boys love.
Mark
A ten year old boy with facial piercings .What is this boys mother thinking ? I'm an expat kiwi living in Japan and I for one am glad that my kids are in school here and not in NZ.All the liberal PC garbage in New Zealand makes me sick.
Mick
What a load of rubbish. Keep him at home. He does not deserve an education and let his mum support him for the rest of his life. Taxpayers shouldnt have to when he becomes a total drop kick and failure. Piercings at 10yrs old.Can he wipe his nose yet..or do the metal bits catch on the tissue?
Rebecca
I have 3 children. Its hard to find a balance with parenting, you dont want to make enemies out of your children, but you need to teach them that they cant always have what they want. If the school says it is inapproprate for this child to have piercings, then he should have them removed. After all, what sort of an example is this setting for the other children? This child (and mother for that matter) needs to learn that where there are rules in place, they need to be followed. I understand that the school should have brought this to the mothers attention earlier, but I am guessing that the school would have sought advice before jumping in, and telling the mother to remove them. Children are far too often taught about their rights and not taught the responsibilities that go along with those rights. I personally think that the mother should be ashamed of herself. This child was eight years old when this occurred, what business does an eight year old have, "choosing" whether or not to have piercings. In an earlier opinion someone said "times have changed." They certainly have, and look where there headed. I believe, as a parent, the mother should take the piercings out, so the child knows that this is how you follow the rules. Yes its unfortunate for the boy, but when parents make errors in judgement they have to deal with it, as we all do. If anyone asked this child why he wanted this done, his main focus at this age would be "to be cool", not "expressing himself" with body art. This mother is allowing her son to be exposed far too early into making, what is really an adult decision, stop with the armchair parenting and say no!
Tony West
Theres nothing wrong with piercings if the child is old enough to decide they want them. This lad has a couple of studs that are tidy and hardly going to affect his ability to learn. I would be telling the school where to get off. This is 2007 so get a life all you old fashion poofters that disagree with it.
Marama
Well well well, this kid and his mother are annoyed. Huh? Maybe they should read up on what rights kids get in other countries, Somalia etc, and see if his little face hole seems so important then. Education is a luxury in this world. Until he is old enough to articulate defend and convince us of the actual need / meaning etc. teachers/ principals are already underpaid, underfunded and under staffed, and they have to deal with this tripe?
Amanda
Haha child abuse...are you serious? No one has even questioned whether the kid chose to be pierced or not. I think kids have at least some insight to the broader concerns of society by the age of 10 and its fair to let them make some decisions for themselves. Why should school authorities have input-that is bullt. Yes, if its a safety issue, he should take them out, but if its just an image request then no, let the boy present himself as he wishes. Dont deny someone part of their personality because of the school's imperatives. Wake up people, kids have rights too.
Jake Hay
When a boy receives the name Shaquille I think that should raised alarm bells. Why didnt the school raise this issue 5 years ago?
Janice
Well what a great mother eh? Her obvious contempt for authority is already rubbing off on her son. Society has rules; that's just the way it is. Some rules are written, others are just established by expectation and good manners. This boy has a rebel streak which is mother is fostering. Safety issues aside, he should be made to remove his piercings at school; nip this rebelliousness in the bud! The reason that so many people are scared of groups of kids on the street is because those kids were not told "no" enough when they were younger, so they think that they can make their own rules.
Andrew Kinloch
To all those that dont see what is wrong with this child being allowed a facial piercing. The problem is the childs future. Will he still want the piercing when he is 30 and wants to get a decent paying job to support his family? Sure employers all have EEO policies but I know who I would employ between the pierced and un pierced. Its a social stigma that could affect this child in many ways in the future. I dont feel a child of 8 has developed the necessary mental faculties to make a decision that has such wide ranging impacts on his future. As for comparing the piercing to that of girls ears, this is no comparison. Society as a whole perceives these two things completely differently the same can be said with cultural piercings. The child should not have the piercing in the first place! Good on the school!
Anne
What a lot of fuss over nothing. I can not believe that this has caused so many comments from so many people and that the story hit the papers in the first place. I am a NZer living in South America. Half of NZ doesnt even know what concerning is, get over it. At the end of the day this is about one child with one facial piercing, put it into perspective.
Suzimarie
After reading the other views I see that most people who agree with the mother wrote letters with spelling and grammatical mistakes, those agreeing with the school principal were well-argued and literate. We obviously have a socio-economic or culture gap here. But, not to worry, the Labour Government doesnt trust us to decide whether a tap on the bottom is appropriate punishment for a childs misdemeanors, so it will probably soon rush through urgent legislation on this matter.
Robin Thomas
Why are we debating this subject ! People are self pleasing and do very silly irresponsible things. Firstly, the school has an obligation for the welfare of the child. There is a dress code and conduct needs to be enforced. If people refuse to abide by sensible rules then they can go elsewhere. a debate only causes division and from this they create statistics which in turn sell newspapers.Stupid people defame themselves. not the media exposure.. Good authority governs.but carelessness will ruin a nation.
Anna
Yes. a. The parents are responsible for the well being of the child at home and the school are responsible while they are at school. I agree facial piercings would be a hazard at school and a risk of injury. b. Unfortunately any idiot can "give birth" or "father" a child.. Grow up and let your kids be kids and not mini adults. The school does not or should not have a policy on facial piercings because 8 - 10 years olds should not have them. Children do not have the maturity at that age to be making such a lifelong decision. I wonder if they are already planning what job this child is going to get..
Annaliese
What do facial piercings and ending up in "juvie" have in common? According to Meg's opinion on this issue, this kid will end up in the clink just because he has a few bits of skin pierced. Well, I have four holes pierced in each ear and I havent had so much as a speeding ticket (let alone any criminal convictions) in the 18 years since I got my ears pierced the first time. Meg, show me a direct and proven scientific link between facial piercings and jail time, and I will refrain from getting the tattoo I have been wanting for the past 12 years!
Steve
A line in the sand has to be drawn somewhere. Kids will always push and parents will always resist. If this facial piercing isnt over the top then what is? High heels and makeup for girls? Why not? This is simply a case of convenience parenting. Give them what they want, when they want, because they are unable to face the consequences of saying "no". It is a shame that schools have to be the meat in the sandwich. They have better things to concern themselves with.
Tania
We as parents and a society have a right to guide and teach our children to the best of our ability and I believe that this mother has failed considerably, by allowing this boy to have what he wants when we all know that at that age you are very indecisive and nothing ever lasts. Tell him that when he is 18 if he wants them then, then he can have them but at 10 I dont believe you know what you want except for the fact you are trying to find yourself in the world and maybe she could have encouraged him to find alternative means. As for Kel if we let all our kids do what they want then where would we be? We would have no law abiding and moralistic citizens left. We all now that at school boys play rugby at intervals furthermore there is none of that touch rugby going on, so what happens then when they are ripped out? Who gets the blame? The school because evidently this mother can not take responsibility for her conduct. At least the principal is taking his role seriously as a upstanding figure of the community as too many people are so politically correct and dont say a thing and just mind their own business and if more people actually put there hands up we would have far less devastating stories on the news of yet another unfortunate insignificant child being murdered.
Ameena Bhanji
As a former teacher from Pakistan, I am horrified at the mentality of a parent who is not only clearly lacking in common sense but in respect for the authority of the school. In my country of origin, many people cant afford the luxury of educating their children and strive for academic excellence. A 10 year old with a piercing of the face is in my opinion a budding rebel. What sort of message is the mother creating for her son and for the other children in that school? I have encountered such people who can afford x, y and z and yet dont seem to think that buying pens and pencils and school equipment is a priority over such trivia as this. It seems that NZ gives too much freedom to those with no sense of what to do with their freedom. Responsibility is clearly not a word in the vocabulary of some sections of society in this country. As a mother I fail to comprehend the mentality behind piercing a 10 year old. I have a daughter and my priority is her health, well being and education all of which require me to set a good moral example. I am concerned about the disparity in mentality emerging here in New Zealand and think some Kiwi parents could learn a lot from us Asians about education and child care.
Jill
Some people dont seem to be getting the situation right. Having your ears pierced is a completely different issue compared with facial piercing. We are not talking about a nose stud here, its eyebrow and chin piercing! We werent allowed to get our ears pierced before 16 unless we had parents permission, triple checked- (the pharmacies were so strict on that!) and from what I know and have learnt from friends that had facial piercings done- you had to be older than 16. Most of them are not allowed to pierce children because their facial structures have not fully formed yet. The mother seriously needs help because she clearly lets her child do whatever he wants. The school is definitely doing the right thing, it is a safety issue. It is funny how some parents would want their kids to have facial scars- do you want your kid to become a successful person when he/she grows up? If so, get rid of those piercings, employers hate facial piercings.
JK
All New Zealand schools (including primary) should have compulsory school uniforms. This is the case in Australia. It instills pride and respect for your school and yourself. It also puts all children on an even footing no matter what their socio-economic background as they cant come to school wearing the latest trends. Most importantly it negates much of the peer pressure placed upon young children to be like each other or like their idols. This child must be emulating someone and like it or not you are judged (in all societies) by your appearance to a large degree. Facial piercings are offensive to many people. It always looks to me like someone crying for attention - negative attention is better that none. It is sad that so many parents allow their children to dress like young provocative adults.
Elsie
What a sad world we live in today. Cant kids be kids? Do we have to dress them like little street walkers and disfigure their innocent little faces. The morals have gone haywire, in the big book we all know what happened in Soddam and Gomorra. Well today everyone seems to say " Sod em stuff tommorra!"" Hold your children close to your hearts as long as you can, because there will come a day when you will ache to do it and they will be gone.
Ross Mckenzie
I would love to see what Sue Bradford would have to say on this one. Let the kids tell the school the way they want it. To hell with disciplined learning, a bit of conformity so kids get to understand fitting in and what one needs to do to get ahead. The mother is mad in that she needs to be teaching her kids to get ahead through learning how to learn rather than learning how to be an attraction seeker for the sake of attracting attention. I am all for freedom of expression but the guy is 10 years old - dont make him be a crusader for your own personal philosophical mantra.
Snoopy
I would have done the same thing as the principal. Sorry, but facial piercings on a 10-year-old? Ear-piercing - fine; but facial piercing? I am sorry, but I think that 10 is way too young. Kids that age still need discipline. So if the kid really really wants a car and saves up for it, I guess mum would happily let him have it huh? Sigh... what is the world coming to?
Peter A
This parent has been manipulated by a manipulative little boy. She hasnt yet learnt the basic skills of how to say "no", how to set simple boundaries and how to infuse basic behavioural standards of social decency into her son. If you think she has difficulty now, just re-visit this pair in about 4 or 5 years and see how the little toads manipulative skills will have worn the mother to a frazzle. This kid will be smoking dope and the mother will think that's OK too.
Anila Paul
I agree, and congratulate the school principal for the right decision made. School is not only a place of learning, but a place for learning principles and values of life. To abide to the schools dress code and the code of conduct is very important and parents should be encouraging the values. If you cannot learn it at home, maybe school is the place to learn such values. But, if the parents believe that it is fine for their kids to have piercing while young, who am I to judge. But, parents need to keep it within their social context and within the perimeter of their houses and not expect the school to waiver the rules. Good on you, Principal.
Sarah
There is nothing wrong with piercings! Its really up to the parents whether they think it is acceptable or not. I mean if heaps of parents complained well then yeah sure. But children under the age of 16 are unable to get piercings without a parent. So whats the problem!!
MS
I dont know why the mother was so shocked to get a call from the school in the first place. Just because facial piercings arent on the school policy, does that also mean kids can bring guns to school because that is not on the school policy too? And who would the mother blame first if her son' piercings were accidentally ripped from his face while playing at school... The school of course. Bad decision by the mother by all means! Totally agree with the school.
Iepie
I totally agree with the school. 10 yr olds shouldnt be allowed to have piercings. This mum has to learn to say "no" and be more responsible. She has to be his mum and not his friend if you know what I mean.
Martin
Most schools have dress codes regarding everything from shirt length, shoes, hair length and make up those rule should apply to everyone no excuses. I also think there could well be safety issues with sports and the general rough and tumble in the play ground that typical 10years get up to that could create a hazard for other kids.
Mike
No way should a 10 year old have piercings, there is plenty of time once a student has left school. If you allow one then all the sheep will follow and the school will possibly end up with a whole lot of pierced little dears.
Katie
To those who stereotype piercings and other body modification as a sign of juvenile delinquency, I beg to differ. I am 17 years old and have 10 piercings. However, I do well in school, I do not drink, would never touch drugs, and have not had a school detention, let alone been in trouble with the police. Dress and cultural standards are not necessarily slipping, they are merely evolving. This is like any other fashion, albeit more extreme, and with more personal significance. As for Shaquille, I am surprised that he was pierced at all, assuming he went to a decent piercer. At 10, he is still growing, and so it is possible, if not likely, that his body will reject the piercings anyway. I am not sure ten-year-olds generally understand the physical and social implications of piercings, and it is more evidence that kids are growing up too fast and becoming too image-conscious these days. The school is right that piercings can be a safety issue. Just catching a piercing on clothing can be painful enough, let alone playing contact sports or even just doing PE at school. Regardless of whether the school or the parent is in the wrong, piercings can definitely be more trouble than they are worth. I would nt risk my place in school for something that, when it comes down to it, really is insignificant. If he really wants them, he will wait until a more suitable time and get them re-pierced then.
BJ
If this boy and his mother what the piercing, it is up to them not anyone else. And about this smacking issue, if more children got a smack when they did something wrong, when they were young, there would be less crimes now.
Hooray for Principal
Piercing Mum, get a grip! She was shocked to get the call? The Principal did the right thing. Eight year old kids do not get their eybrows/ lips pierced! Boo- hoo to the Body piercer for performing the piercings! Mum, you should have set rules and boundaries for your son. He was eight when he demanded the piercings - you should not have let him over rule you. You didnt agree with the piercings in the first place. If it was his decision to get them done, he should suffer his consequences such as not being allowed to wear them at school. It is not a good look for an eight year old. Yahoo to self expression but this is nuts! Good work Principal, you have support!
Nan
Commonsense prevails again. This childs parents need to step up and become the parents and take responsibility for their actions and have the ability to respond to what is not acceptable. Stop trying to control the school. Surely the Headperson has more things to do (educating the children) than having to advise this mother what she already knows.
Harold
Let us play this the other way. The school lets the kid keep his piercings. He gets into a scrap and ends up having his piercings yanked out. His face is a mess. Suddenly it is the school's fault. It becomes a media circus. There are calls for the Head and the Board of Trustees to resign Meanwhile the parents sue the school for negligence. Personally, I dont care if the boy has piercings or not - there are a lot more pressing concerns facing modern humanity than a ten year olds fashion statements - but the school has every right to ask him to remove them while at school. If the parents dont like it or disagree, then I suggest they start the long and very possibly fruitless search for an alternative educational establishment in which their pierced offspring's doubtless superabundance of academic potential can be fully nurtured.
Bryan
What is the difference between earrings and piercings? None.Many young girls (and boys)have earrings. I do not see why there is a fuss.
Gordon
Firstly it is only a piercing! As so many others have correctly pointed out it is no different than a child with pierced ears. I am somewhat disturbed by the level of criticism that has been received by this childs mother. She is not a bad parent nor has she committed any form of child abuse. In many cases piercings are carried out in the same way as a medical procedure. One respondent said that he should have to remove it because she is not allowed visible piercings at her place of employment thusly it is not appropriate at school.I do not see how this is relevant. He is 10 and does not deal with customers where the perception of the business may be influenced by the presentation of its employees.Also in response to another comment: Could somebody explain the link between a piercing and crime? Maybe it would be appropriate for others to stop trying to forcibly impose their morals on others...If you dont like it then fine the same can be said if you do like it.
Catherine
The boy has had the piercings for 2 years. We let our daughter get her ears pierced for an 8th birthday present. She has since removed them herself, as she wants to play sports, and does not think they are safe. While I would not let her get other piercings at 10, they are not in the same league as hookers and guns. I think the school should have pointed out their concerns sometime in the first couple of months.
Rae Jackson
Get over it you do-gooding posers. Kids with piercings need to remove them for physical activity. If he can do that himself, he can wear them to school (since reading, writing and arithmatic are not dangerous activities).I have seen two year old girls with earrings, pink bow ties and makeup - now that is child abuse.
Cath
Would you let your 10 year-old daughter pierce her ears? Many perfectly good parents would answer "Yes!" Anything else goes to fashion, not good parenting. Should he be allowed to wear his piercings at school? Well, if the rules say no, then no. But the principal was out of line to lecture this childs mother.
Chontelle
I personally am not in favour of facial
