Editorial: The problems with pornography for children and what cannot be unseen

A New Zealand report estimates 20-50 per cent of all children and young people have been exposed to pornography online by age 16. Photo / 123rf, File

EDITORIAL:

It's much more than the "girlie" magazines older generation New Zealanders might recall being surreptitiously passed behind the school bike sheds. More graphic, more violent, more dehumanised and degrading.

Today, a young man speaks out about the hardcore online pornography which piqued his curiosity at the age of 11 and led to him bingeing obsessively on the offensive content.

Auckland-based sex and relationship therapist Jo Robertson says porn teaches children and teens problematic ideas about sex and relationships.

"The content they will most likely see is often aggressive and degrading to women, LGBTQI+ and people of colour. It can teach them that consent is not that important or that it's okay to just ignore someone's 'no' during sex. Adults have a higher level of critical thinking and have some real-life sexual experiences to compare porn to."

A report by the Australian-governmental agency the Institute of Family Studies found pornography use can shape sexual practices and is associated with unsafe sexual health practices such as not using condoms and unsafe sex. It also may strengthen attitudes supportive of sexual violence and violence against women.

Far from being schooled in loving acts, porn users are more likely to become sexually inadequate, the institute says.

"Gaps between expectations and reality can produce 'sexual uncertainty' about sexual beliefs and values and may also be related to sexual dissatisfaction, anxiety and fear."

University of North Carolina School of Medicine forensic paediatrician Dr Sharon Cooper says children and youth are more vulnerable to pornographic images than adults because of mirror neurons in the brain, which convince people they are actually experiencing what they see.

A November 2020 research paper for Oranga Tamariki found viewing of pornography at younger ages is becoming more common, with 20-50 per cent of all children and young people exposed to pornography online by age 16.

As a result, more parents experience what the mother of the young porn addict says: "I thought, 'Gosh, I thought I was a parent who communicated quite well. My son went through that and it never occurred to me once to have a conversation about porn'."

Now is always the best time to open that conversation, for the sake of your child and other children.

Signs porn may have become a problem

• You feel you have to watch more and more to be satisfied.

• You feel agitated or stressed when you're unable to watch it.

• You've tried to stop watching it but haven't been able to.

• You need to watch increasingly violent and extreme porn to get aroused.

• You think about it a lot and miss it when you don't watch it for a while.

• You neglect other activities as a result of watching porn.

Where to get help

• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7).

• Youthline: 0800 376 633 or text 234 (available 24/7).

• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7).

• Fortify (an online programme to kick the porn habit, with peer forums offering encouragement from others).

• 1737 (call or text).

• Aunty Dee.

• Safe to Talk: 0800 044 334 or text 4334 or online chat.

• In the Know.

• Apps you can download: Fortify, Safesurfer, Brainbuddy, Quit Addiction Buddy

For parents:

• The Light Project.

•Netsafe.

Source: The Light Project