Editorial: Online respect way to stop cyber bullying

It makes it an offence to send messages or post material online that is grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, menacing or knowingly false to the victim. Photo / Thinkstock

The 2015 Harmful Digital Communications Act had its critics as it passed through Parliament. One man's menacing and offensive online posting can, after all, be another's robust criticism. But any qualms about the need for the law have surely been swept away by the hospitalising of a 13-year-old Auckland girl after she tried to harm herself in what her family says was a response to cyber bullying. The episode should drive home to parents, particularly, the perils associated with their offsprings' use of online tools. And start a considered discussion on how best to protect children from their potential impact.

The most obvious recourse is the new legislation. It makes it an offence to send messages or post material online that is grossly offensive, indecent, obscene, menacing or knowingly false, and to "post a digital communication with the intention that it cause harm to the victim". The punishment is up to two years' imprisonment or a $50,000 fine for individuals and a $200,000 fine for companies.

The ages of those responsible for the offensive treatment of the 13-year-old girl mean this is probably not a suitable district court test case. But at the very least, those guilty of the bullying should receive a final warning from the police. That would make them, and others, aware that what they write does not simply disappear into the ether. At worst, it can be the catalyst for self-harm or suicide.

The girl's mother found out about the concerted bullying, as evidenced by hurtful phone messages, only after a truancy officer told how she had been wagging school. That points to a central problem for parents. Too many do not know what their children are doing online and what a large part of their life it is. Nor do those children have the confidence to confide. Effectively, they operate in their own world, and feel unable to tell anyone about their torment.

For children that young and impressionable, this is a recipe for tragedy. In the interest of protecting their offspring, parents must strive to create a household environment in which secrecy plays no role. That, of course, is no easy task during the teenage years. This creates the need for an even more fundamental change.

As much as online tools have been a powerful positive in many spheres, they have had a woeful influence on the tone of public discourse. Cyber exchanges, as often as not, become the equivalent of shouting matches, with combatants intent on delivering the biggest insult. The impact on those on the receiving end of these cruel and sometimes threatening outbursts is disregarded.

There must, as Netsafe education specialist Lee Chisholm says, be a change of mindset. "We need to shift to a culture of being kind to each other," he says. Parents should spearhead that transformation. They set the worst of examples when they use the internet as a verbal battleground. Children are justified in thinking this is the norm. But all communication needs reasonable boundaries. It is usually obvious when somebody crosses these and becomes malicious. Adults may shrug this off, but sensitive children may not be able to. For their sake, we must work towards a more caring and respectful culture.