Proud and accomplished, Kiri Danielle was admitted to the bar last year and is now the first Māori Environment Commissioner after years of dedication to the care and restoration of the taiao. Photo / Supplied
Aotearoa’s first Māori Environment Commissioner. Eco-Warrior. Lawyer. Wāhine Toa Journalist. Broadcaster. Television Presenter. Teacher. Global Goodwill Ambassador.
Kiri Danielle’s CV reads like a wish list of Māori excellence. But behind her pageant-worthy smile lie memories that still bring her to tears.
Danielle shared her heartbreaking past in an emotional and honest Facebook post to her 20,000 followers.
“In 2016, in my personal life, everything collapsed.”
The mum of three lost her home, her job and her tamariki in quick succession after her marriage broke down sending her into what she says was a “situational depression” in late 2017.
She told the Herald about her lowest moment, sitting in a rest area while her mind “played horrible tricks” on her.
“My mind was saying my children are embarrassed of me; which they weren’t, that I’ve let my whānau down. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever worked hard for. I couldn’t see a way out.
“I thought to myself, you know what? I’m gonna end it!”
She planned to make her death look like an accident so her tamariki wouldn’t know their mum took her own life. But within one moment, she snapped out of it and knew she needed to stay and fight to regain her most cherished role: Motherhood.
Of Ngati Kahungunu ki Wairarapa, Ngati Raukawa ki Te Tonga and Pakeha descent, the eco-warrior spent the next 7 years working toward a life she is proud of and excited to wake up to every day.
Last year she was admitted to the bar, becoming an environmental lawyer, a career that she sought to empower herself after experiencing her darkest times. She calls it her “saving grace”.
Also working with Te Arawa Education Taskforce to help improve educational outcomes for tamariki, Danielle is practising skills she gained out of aroha for her three children as she originally entered a career in education to follow them into early childhood education.
Her kaitiakitanga for the taiao caught the attention of Māori Climate Commissioner Donna Awatere Huata, scoring Danielle a job as the first Māori Environment Commissioner.
She was taken aback by the offer but encouraged by Awatere Huata’s words.
“She said ‘you are ringa raupa (hardworking). You’ve proven your love for her’ (Papatūānuku).”
Danielle found self-worth through her relationship with the environment during her years of struggle and has always been passionate about giving back.
“I really connected with Papatūānuku for the first time in a really heartbroken state. I felt her mauri because I was stripped of everything else. In that nothingness, I sensed her so powerfully. And so I carried that with me all through the hard times. I just knew that I was part of something bigger. Bigger than me, and bigger than my problems.
“I knew I had value to Papatūānuku even though I had no value financially. I truly believe I heard her say ‘thank you’ to me. I heard her. I felt the acknowledgement from her. My connection heightened so much because she was all I had. The insects, the flowers, the trees and the wind, and her energy.”
By sharing her passion for Papa on social media, she created a name for herself and amassed a loyal online following who helped to keep her spirits high.
“Funnily enough, the people who helped me the most were my followers on Facebook at the time. They were in essence strangers to me. They were people I’ve never met in person … but they could see the sadness in my eyes despite the smile on my face,” she says, stressing the importance of reaching out if you can recognise someone is struggling.
“Even a smile is a gift.”
Danielle is now back living in Rotorua where this story began, loving the life she’s built and looking forward to the future.
Next year she will complete a diploma in youth counselling and mental health and is working towards home and business ownership and may even have an autobiography on the cards.
“I think of that song ‘started from the bottom now we’re here’. It’s joyous. The best thing is my children are so proud of me.”
Where to get help
If it is an emergency and you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
For counselling and support
Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Need to talk? Call or text 1737
Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202
For children and young people
Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
For help with specific issues
Alcohol and Drug Helpline: Call 0800 787 797
Anxiety Helpline: Call 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY)
OutLine: Call 0800 688 5463 (0800 OUTLINE) (6pm-9pm)
Safe to talk (sexual harm): Call 0800 044 334 or text 4334
All services are free and available 24/7 unless otherwise specified.
For more information and support, talk to your local doctor, hauora, community mental health team, or counselling service. The Mental Health Foundation has more helplines and service contacts on its website.
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