Winner: Wales. The Irish might have sold more records but a country that produces the Corrs, boybands and the Cranberries is automatically disqualified.
ACTORS
Ireland: Kenneth Branagh, Daniel Day-Lewis, Brenda Fricker, Richard Harris, Peter O'Toole
Wales: Richard Burton, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Rhys Ifans, John Rhys-Davies, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Winner: Although Ireland has the quantity this comes down to a heavyweight slugfest between the great rogues Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole. Too close to call.
FILMS
Ireland: The Boxer, Bloody Sunday, The Guard, Waking Ned Devine, In the Name of the Father
Wales: How Green Was My Valley, Under Milk Wood, The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, Human Traffic, The Baker
Winner: Ireland - not even close. Wales' best film is John Ford's classic How Green Was My Valley and even that was criticised for having Irish accents all the way through it.
SPORTS STARS (except rugby):
Ireland: George Best (soccer), Alex "Hurricane" Higgins (snooker), Roy Keane (soccer), Rory McIlroy (golf), Stephen Roche (cycling)
Wales: Joe Calzaghe (boxing), Ryan Giggs (soccer), Ian Woosnam (golf), Ray Reardon (snooker), John Toshack (soccer)
Winner: Ireland, again, though Best and Higgins probably earned as many headlines for their lifestyles as they did their sporting prowess.
WRITERS
Ireland: Brendan Behan, Samuel Beckett, Roddy Doyle, James Joyce, George Bernard Shaw
Wales: Martin Amis, Ken Follett, C.S. Lewis, Bertrand Russell, Dylan Thomas
Winner: Dead heat. Ireland has more noted authors (even C.S. Lewis was a Welshman born in Belfast), but they fall between offensively obtuse and numbingly easy reading.
For example, if you divide the amount of people who say they've read Joyce's Ulysses by 50, you'll get a far more accurate number of people who have actually got through it.
DRINK
Ireland: Guinness
Wales: Brains
Winner: Ireland, by virtue of Guinness being both delicious and a wildly successful global brand. Brains is surprisingly good, if oxymoronic. Ireland close to being disqualified for foisting the undrinkable Kilkenny on to the world.
VEGETABLE
Ireland: Potato
Wales: Leek
Winner: Leeks might be a winner in leek and potato soup on a cold night in the valleys, but ask yourself this: when have you ever ordered a leek butty? When have you ever dipped a thinly sliced, crispy leek into a bowl of reduced cream mixed with Maggi Onion Soup? Mashed leeks? I don't think so. Have you ever yearned for a baked leek filled with grated cheese and sour cream?
