WARNING: This article contains references to sexual assault
At 22, Danielle Gare was drugged and sexually abused in a bathroom at Christchurch’s Mama Hooch bar. Six years on, the Dunedin early childhood teacher shares her story. Katie Harris reports.
Danielle Gare was partying on The Terrace in central Christchurch, trying to outrun the reality that six months earlier she had been sexually abused.
She was doing her best to forget the attack when she bumped into the man responsible for her suffering – Mama Hooch manager Danny Jaz.
“I said to him, ‘I have one question for you, why did you do what you did?’”
The next thing she knew, a man socialising with Jaz swung at her, leaving her with a concussion, split lip and facial bruising.
Her memories blur from there, then again so was much of 2018 following the June sexual assault.
“I just didn’t want to think about it. I felt like a part of me had been taken away. My confidence and just me as a person, I did not feel like me and drinking so much would put me in another body where I was free.”
She is the second survivor in the case – following Sophie Brown – to lift her automatic name suppression with the Herald’s assistance.
Although the prospect of going public is scary for Gare, she wants to show other young women they can succeed after sexual assault.
“I came across a quote one day and it went along the lines of, ‘I’m gonna be here to tell my story, and it’s going to be someone else’s saviour’.”
This is why Gare has chosen to speak out now.
The bar
Since moving to the Garden City from Dunedin in 2017, Gare had become a regular at Mama Hooch, attending almost every Friday.
“It was kind of like our thing. It was a local on a Friday night where we would go for a couple of drinks.”
So when Gare was catching up with a friend in June 2018, that’s where they went.
Gare said they arrived sober and had only a couple of drinks – saving their energy for netball the next morning. But after her second glass of wine, things went fuzzy.
“I went to the bathroom and I’m trying to shut the door and [Danny] is right in the cubicle.”
From there, she said he took over, holding her hands above her head as she urged him to stop.
“I had no control, everything was numb, weak and I knew what was about to happen, I had an instant fear.
“He forced my body and I couldn’t fight back. And then he said to me, I remember this sentence, ‘You need to walk out before me’.”
She can’t recall what time she left or how she got home but the grim realisation the next morning that the assault had happened is burned in her brain.
“We’re in a society where we’re made to feel like it’s our fault when something like this happens. Even when I was at the police station giving my statement, I was thinking back through that night like, what was I wearing, what were my actions?
“Am I gonna be believed? Is my story true? Did what happen to me actually happen to me? Because they’re such high-profile men in Christchurch, that was my thought: am I going to be believed.”
After the attack her sense of safety was disrupted; Gare started drinking to forget, then to feel nothing.
The teacher felt herself slipping.
She worried about running into those associated with her attacker, and feared being honest with her family about everything that had happened to her.
“I couldn’t go out by myself. Even if it was walking to a supermarket or going to the mall.”
The problematic drinking ended after her former boss took her to a doctor and Gare was put on medication for her mental health.
“Being on the anti-depressant pills, I remember when I told mum and dad, and mum was just like, ‘Are you sure? Like are you sure you are depressed, are you sure you’ve got anxiety’?”
It wasn’t until six months after the sexual attack that Gare felt able to open up to her family about the incident. Even then, she withheld the full extent of the attack.
The case
Danny initially denied the offending and told media in 2018 if he caught those responsible he’d “break their hands and hand them over to the police”.
However, days into the trial he pleaded guilty to the 21 sexual assault charges where he was the sole offender.
News of the plea came when Gare was at the mall about to get her nails done.
“Oh my God, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I broke down in tears because for so long we fought for this to happen and he would say, ‘I didn’t do that’.
“For him to turn around and plead guilty, I was like ‘wow’, he has admitted that he sexually assaulted me.”
While the guilty plea and later verdict brought relief, Gare still kept the true extent of the attack from her family.
“But after the sentencing when the judge read out the descriptions of what happened . . . I think that was quite tough for mum to hear. Knowing that was the first time mum was hearing the charge, that broke me.”
Her mother, Denise Gare, was devastated by the news of Danny’s assault on her daughter, describing it as “hell”.
The attack had turned her previously “happy-go-lucky” child into a “completely different person”.
However, the verdict came with some respite for the family and both of Danielle’s parents admired their daughter’s strength.
“To stand up in court, go to the police, report it, go through the whole court case. [We are] very, very proud,” Denise said.
For legal reasons, Gare was unable to discuss the case with the friend she’d been with that night, or any of the other victims, in the years before and throughout the court process.
”If we had been able to lean on each other and talk to each other then I think that period from when it happened up until sentencing could have been a lot different for everyone.”
In conversations after the trial, she learned some of the other survivors had fallen into similar self-destructive drinking and partying patterns following their assaults.
”It was surreal to hear I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t the only one really struggling with what had happened.”
Danny was ultimately sentenced to 16.5 years in prison and his brother to 17 years, which they are now appealing alongside the charges they were found guilty of.
“I understand everybody gets a chance to appeal. But why them? After everything that they’ve put us through,” Gare told the Herald.
As well as the appeal, police confirmed earlier this year that three more complaints had been made regarding historical incidents at the notorious bar.
A year after the trial, Gare felt now was the right time to share her identity.
“I’m slowly opening up to people about it and then they tell me stories about what’s happened to them or someone that they love and it’s made me realise I can speak up and make a difference.
“Whatever life throws at you, ups and downs, it is a process but you will be okay.”
Gare’s role as an early childhood teacher also informed her decision to drop her name suppression.
“I advocate for these children and make sure they’re protected, they’re safe, their wellbeing is looked after while they’re in my care.
“I feel like I am in a position where I need to protect other young women from what has happened to them or what could happen to them.”
Katie Harris is an Auckland-based journalist who covers issues including sexual assault, workplace misconduct, media, crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2020.