Don't mention the war - but behave like there's one on

By Selwyn Parker

John Cleese's comments on New Zealanders' dress habits - "still basically in skins" - quoted in Newsweek magazine, stirred up considerable indignation but his views on management were much more interesting.

In the article, "Basil Fawlty, Manager," Cleese expounded some deliciously heretical views. Here are a few:

* On hurrying: "In corporate and business life today, hurrying has become a sort of mind-set. We do it automatically. Doing everything faster is not necessarily the answer nor, paradoxically, is it very efficient."

* On glib executives: "This person, having read three whole books on marketing, and having verbal facility, may sound much more persuasive [than an inarticulate person.] This kind of executive can fall into a category of manager known as the Articulate Incompetent."

* On the destruction of creativity: "One, always behave as though there's a war on. Two, strangle curiosity at birth - it may spread. Three, open all meetings by reciting the magic mantra - the problem has not yet been born that cannot be cracked with more data and newer technology. Four, defend your preconceptions with your life! Five, if you spot a colleague engaging in unfamiliar activity such as wondering out loud or gazing thoughtfully into space, poke them with a sharp stick and accuse them of wasting time.

Sir Edmund Hillary ["No-nonsense, practical leadership wins respect, Herald, March 3] once represented the World Book Encyclopaedia, not the Encyclopaedia Britannica. In fact, Sir Edmund wrote part of the World Book Encyclopaedia's entry on mountaineering.

* Contributing writer Selwyn Parker can be contacted at wordz@xtra.co.nz