The fact that we were born in different counties did not matter at all until a bloody revolution followed by a lengthy and brutal war, ravaged our country and turned our lives upside down.
My journey out of the war-torn, post-revolutionary Iran was a relatively smooth one. This was entirely due to a rare UK residency stamp on my Iranian passport that came by virtue of birth.
I boarded a plane in Tehran and, four and half hours later, found myself in the safety of London Heathrow airport.
My sister's journey out of Iran put a huge dent in my parents' already depreciated savings.
It took over a month of tears and stress, together with endless queues and long waits in Turkey, before my sister found herself in the same place as me; the UK. (This miserable journey still pales into insignificance when compared to the suffering endured by the persecuted Bahais and others who were blacklisted by the Iranian government. Much like many refugees today, blacklisted people had to entrust their lives to people smugglers.)
Whilst I confidently planned for my future, my sister watched the days being ticked off her student visa and wondered about what to do next.
My living expenses, college education, and my subsequent university degrees were all fully paid for by the UK government (yes, amazing how things have changed). In contrast, my sister paid extortionate overseas student fees and had to sustain herself with devalued Iranian riyals. Every pound she spent translated to feelings of guilt and burden.
While my British passport opened the doors to the world of travel and exciting holidays abroad, my sister's Iranian passport offered her deep frowns and very limited travel opportunities.
When a combination of these factors and visa issues forced her to return to Iran, she went back to living under theocracy while I continued to enjoy the freedoms of living in a democratic society.
Most of us are aware of many external and structural factors that determine the course of our lives. Race, class and gender all impact our lives to some degree but how many of us reflect on the privileges and good fortunes that are afforded to us by our birthplace?
Today, for millions of people, the difference between living in war or peace, between prosperity and starvation, between self-determination and oppression, are determined purely by geography and borders.
The borders that were drawn on the map of the Middle East by the British and the French during World War One created many new nation-states.
These arbitrary divisions gave no thought to multiplicity of religion and ethnic composition of the Middle East.
The modern Middle East that emerged after the defeat of the Ottoman Empire has born witness to new, often bloody, religious and sectarian conflicts.
What we are witnessing today in the Middle East is the expression and culmination of many years of festering ethnic and religious frustration and tension.
Under the Ottoman Empire, various ethnic and religious groups were left to administrate their own affairs. Non-Muslim communities spoke their own language, practiced their own religion, followed their own culture, and ran their own schools and health facilities.
As these practices were encouraged in the Quranic traditions (Hadith), they were, mostly, tolerated by the dominant Muslim communities.
In short, Syria used to enjoy a rich, diverse and tolerant culture. Under the League of Nations, Syria became a de facto French colony (a "mandate"). Arab nationalism and Islamic resurgence pushed to bring ethnic and religious groups together. These movements were created as a backlash to the desire of the French to impose their language and their system of governance on Syria.
President Assad's tyrannical and ruthless style of government can be traced back to the deep distrust of the west in the Middle East. This distrust is a result of a long history of destructive foreign meddling in the region.
Hardly anything happens in the Middle East without the direct or indirect involvement of the Western powers.
The removal of the former Prime Minister of Iran, Mossadegh, by an Anglo-American orchestrated coupe, robbed the Iranians of their only hope for a democratic future.
Roosevelt's grandson who oversaw this covert operation, put Iran on a course that resulted in millions of Iranians, like me, to leave their beloved country and seek sanctuary in the West.
Assad, of course, is nothing like Mossadegh; but he has learnt much about the experiences of his father, Hafez al-Assad, and the history of the Middle East. He rules with iron fist because he fears dissent and its link to foreign subversion.
People of Syria, like many others around the globe, stand as victims of their geography and history. The fate of many is determined by borders and the resources that fall within them.
Today, a child born just meters away from the wall that separates Palestine from Israel can either live in prosperity and be shielded by one of the most powerful militaries in the world, or live in an open air prison in a ghetto called Gaza. All depends on which side of the wall that child is born in.
60 million refugees have been displaced from their homes by armed conflict, terror, war, persecution and violence.
It is important that we recognize how little input many of these refugees have had in the conditions that they find themselves in. Most are losers in the lottery of life.
It is important, that our attitudes towards refugees, just like our attitudes towards the poor, for instance, are not marred by the false belief that they should take sole responsibility for their own condition when, in most cases, they have had little to no control over their circumstances.
One of the most important starting points in helping refugees is by educating ourselves and, others around us, to not fear them and to accept that we owe many of our own privileges and good fortunes to being born in the right country at the right time.
So, next time you see a refugee, on your TV walking on a dirt track carrying nothing but a plastic bag, imagine that that person could be you... then ask yourself how you would like to be treated.
Donna Mojab (Donna Miles) is a British-born, Iranian-bred, NZ citizen with a strong interest in human rights, justice and equality issues. Mojab worked as a senior mathematics lecturer in the UK for 10 years before migrating to NZ as a new mother.
