Dominic George: Just think of England

Jamie Mackay

I've always been one for drowning in good intentions. From fitness to finances, I've resolved to improve, only to be left wallowing in a litany of bad habits and poor choices. The latest example is "abuse-free radio".

Farming Show host Jamie Mackay is taking his annual month-long farming and footy sabbatical next week, leaving me in charge of his show. The torrent of abuse he hurls my way will cease for a few weeks, so technically the Farming Show should be abuse-free.

Such is the vigour with which Mackay deploys his verbal abuse, it has rubbed off on some of his correspondents. They all have a crack at aspects of my personage.

This, of course, is like water off a duck's back. It got to the point last week where Mackay was so abusive he tried to retract his comments via the crass and ill-conceived "Be Nice to Dom Day".

Naturally, it was a dismal failure and normal transmission resumed the following day. As Farmer J so eloquently put it last week on Twitter: "Pot, kettle, black - just saying."

Farming Show online editor Hanoi Jane describes the generally abusive nature of the show as Insult Man Banter, or iManter. Women rarely, if ever, indulge in this practice but poor old Hanoi cops her fair share by virtue of being the only female employee on the show.

But whatever we throw at each other at FS HQ, it's nothing compared with the abuse that's been thrown England's way after their failure to make it out of pool play at the Rugby World Cup. The way to get quick and scathing cut through these days is through "memes" you post on the internet. One of my favourites shows a fat bloke struggling to get out of a swimming pool. The caption reads: England - couldn't get out of the pool! Another shows a certificate in "participation" awarded to England.

Of course, the main impediment to abuse-free radio is the fact it's too much fun abusing co-workers! What sort of dull existence would it be if we couldn't hone in on our colleagues' shortcomings and amplify them in public? And despite the odd wet blanket who wants the faux bickering to cease, most people seem perfectly enamoured with the occasional verbal slugfest.

So as Mackay prepares to leave for England to collect some more boring travel stories, I'm about to leave another good intention lying in my wake; unleash the beast.