Dominic George: Eight was my age of enlightenment

Dominic George says he is sceptical of those who claim the dairy industry is not in a state of disrepair despite a fourth consecutive drop in international dairy prices. Photo / NZME.

Bores call it negativity but I say scepticism born of knowledge is the only way.

I was the only one who didn't volunteer. The others all readily jotted their names down on the piece of paper being passed round to all the boys in the class. The absence of my name on the list was noted by the monsignor who urged me to rethink my position.

"No, I'm good thanks, Father," I said, unaware he was seething inside. I know this because later that afternoon my mother received a phone call from the aforementioned clergyman enquiring as to why I hadn't "volunteered" to enter the hallowed ranks of the altar boys.

My mother asked the same thing; "Why?" "Because I don't want to," was the answer that immediately came to mind, mainly because it was true. Why would I willingly give up my time to don an itchy piece of sackcloth and parade around in full view of hundreds of people every Sunday and even the odd Saturday? I could be gawking at photos of Tiffany and Kim Basinger instead. It made no sense. Of course, what I've come to realise is that I was a deeply cynical person from early on in the piece, even in the face of Catholic guilt.

I was reminded of the altar boy days over the weekend when Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather both referred to God being in their corner either before or after Sunday's bout. It's not unusual for boxers, and indeed a lot of athletes, to praise one deity or another before and after events, although boxers do seem to have a mortgage on it.

Apparently God was on Pacquiao's side before the fight, but as the victorious Mayweather thanked Him in his post-bout interview, it appears He switched camps. Mayweather didn't quite channel fellow countryman Robert Guerrero though, who in 2010 insisted it wasn't him throwing the punches but God "every one of them", he said.

Naturally sceptical people like me may find it hard to accept deities, but it does have its upside as well. Again using the weekend's boxing as an example, I'm sceptical of those who believe Pacquiao won the fight and even more so of those who think there's some kind of conspiracy surrounding the result.

I'm sceptical of the Government's flag-change offensive, sceptical of those who claim the dairy industry is not in a state of disrepair despite a fourth consecutive drop in international dairy prices and, needless to say, sceptical of the ability of most referees.

In fact, I'm sceptical of all humanity to a large degree. Can you blame me? We've just commemorated Gallipoli, for God's sake. In the "needless slaughter of thousands of innocents" list, Gallipoli has a strong argument to be near the top.

The temptation is to react one way or another when acquiring knowledge of something, although that knowledge is nearly always scant in the first instance. The full story only really emerges when multiple points of view are taken into account. Great stories have been written based on this premise throughout human history, in fact not knowing the full story is the foundation of most tragedy. Just look at the way people instantly post comments on social media, often with no knowledge of who or what they're commenting on.

Allowing yourself to be sceptical isn't a bad thing, despite those insufferable bores who label you "negative". The positive brigade irks me. I'm sure a little Johnny or Billy called me negative, or something akin to it, when I turned down the altar boy duties back in the mid-eighties. Turns out when you're 8 or 9, you still have do what you're told, despite your convictions. So there I am sweating under the discomfort of the sackcloth, praying for the time to pass fast, meaning it went even slower, and daydreaming of Tiffany and Kim, despite a suspicion they will hardly be household names in a few months ...