The devastated whānau of a 15-month-old boy who drowned in the family pool are begging others to check pool fencing and gates ahead of the holidays.
Matt and Lauren Albert-Wihone said their lives have been shattered beyond belief after their beautiful baby boy River Albert-Wihone died a month ago.
The “full of energy” toddler with big brown eyes and chocolate curls spent four days in a coma and then eight days in intensive care after he was resuscitated after drowning in the family’s pool in Lynfield, Auckland.
He died in his mother’s arms in hospital on November 20.
“River was our fourth child, a surprise baby and he was absolutely loved by everyone,” dad Matt told the Herald.
“He was so full of energy and was such a big presence in our house, always visiting people’s rooms and stealing snacks.”
Lauren described River as “our everything”.
“He was bright, bold, loud and full of life. He was known as our Fatman cos he was our biggest baby, rolly and chubby. He was so beautiful, had the biggest smile, the brightest eyes and long curly hair. He gave the best hugs and kisses.”
River also earned the name “Grumplelump” because he knew what he wanted and would growl, stomp and hit to get attention.
“We always laughed cos we thought for children like that it was learned behaviour but with him, he was literally born that way,” Lauren said.
“He loved his siblings, especially his big brother, they were best friends. He looked up to him and would follow him everywhere.”
River loved doing the haka when he watched the rugby with his dad and loved rides in the car with his mum.
“We miss him immensely and will love him forever,” Lauren said.
The day River drowned, Matt remembers bumping into his son in the hallway, having a chat and then watching him stride off stomping his feet with his arms swinging.
What seemed like just moments later, Lauren asked where River was then looked out the window and noticed the pool gate was slightly open.
“I just ran,” Matt said.
“I ran and got out to the pool and he was there face down.”
Matt pulled River from the pool but then just froze and went into shock. He was only able to scream for help.
Neighbours came running and performed CPR on River’s lifeless body until the ambulance arrived.
Ambulance officers were able to revive River using a defibrillator and adrenaline but he had been without oxygen for too long.
“I just sat there slumped thinking we’ve just lost our baby boy,” Matt said.
The pool was fully fenced but a temperamental self-closing gate meant River was able to access the pool despite the safety-conscious family always checking it.
“One of the few times it didn’t latch properly and this happened, it happened so fast,” Matt said.
The couple said they were both struggling with everyday life and blamed themselves for what happened.
“Every time I close my eyes I see him there in the pool, I can’t sleep and I just want the vision to be of him playing with his toys or watching the All Blacks play on TV.”
As well as the couple having the three older children, Lauren is pregnant with a fifth baby, a girl, due in April.
“We are scared River’s little sister is going to come along and she is going to have broken parents,” Matt said.
“We worry she is going to miss out because we are missing our boy and we can’t give her our all but we know we just have to find a way to do that.”
Matt and Lauren said they were being well supported by whānau and friends and were in therapy to cope with their loss.
“We are proud and hate to ask for help but the funds from Givealittle would also help with ongoing counselling for our children.”
The family also wanted to move houses, saying it was too traumatic to remain living near the pool.
“We can’t look out the window at the pool, it is too hard.”
Matt and Lauren said as hard as it is to talk about their loss, they wanted to urge other families to check their pool fencing and gates before summer.
In the past year, Auckland Council has carried out safety inspections of more than 13,000 registered pools in Auckland. Around a quarter failed the first inspection.
Faulty gates that do not self-close and latch was the most common reason for failure. Another was climbable objects such as planters and outdoor furniture being too near the pool fence.
Matt said the family would do anything to turn back time and avoid the heartbreak of losing River.
“The inspection for pool fencing is every 2-3 years but I would tell people to check their gates now and get them fixed. If they are renting get their landlord around to check things.
“We hope sharing our story will raise awareness. You just don’t get how important and devastating it is until it hits your family.”