Diagnosis or discovery? No Such Thing as Normal by Sonia Gray, episode 3

Mike Hall with his son. Photo / Supplied

At least one in five New Zealanders are classed as neurodivergent, a label that covers conditions such as ADHD, autism and dyslexia - yet society insists everyone should be “normal”. No Such Thing as Normal, a 10-part NZ Herald podcast with broadcaster Sonia Gray, explores how we can do better.

When Mike Hall was told by a child psychiatrist that his son was autistic he said it felt like he’d been hit by a truck. “He was my perfect child. I had dreams of him being captain of the First XV and head of the school debating team. I felt like all my hopes for my kid just evaporated on that day”.

Mike is a guest on Sonia Gray’s podcast series, No Such Thing As Normal, which delves into the world of neurodiversity. There are thousands of parents who find themselves in this situation: confused and fearful about what life with a “label” will mean for their child.

Paediatric occupational therapist Lucy Charles says part of her job is to support families through this tricky time. She tells parents to think of it more as a discovery, than a diagnosis.

“There are things your child might not be able to do very well yet, but they also have many strengths, and we are going to discover what they are together’.

Gray says the struggle for many parents isn’t helped by the fact the rules keep changing.

“I was quite shocked to learn the term dyslexia doesn’t actually exist any more” she says. “It’s now officially called a ‘specific learning disorder with an impairment in reading’. That’s not super practical when you’re trying to communicate your child’s challenges to the school”.

The other complication of a diagnosis is there’s usually going to be more than one. Co-occurring conditions are the exception, rather than the norm.

“Most people who are neurodivergent will have a little bit of everything” says child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr Jamie Speeden.

“We like things to be cut-and-dried; it would be lovely to have a blood test. But the fact is every single patient I see is different. To me, the label is less important than finding out what the person’s specific challenges are and how I can support them”.

And Mike Hall’s perspective has changed completely in the 13 years since his son’s diagnosis.

He wants other parents to know that while the diagnosis can come as a shock, things do get easier.

“What I didn’t realise back then is that Louis would open up a whole new world for me,” he says. “It’s not necessarily the life I was expecting, but there are so many incredible rewards.”

No Such Thing As Normal was made with the support of NZ On Air.

No Such Thing as Normal is a NZ Herald podcast, with new episodes every Saturday. You can listen to it on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.