Delegates get the anti-violence message

By CATHERINE MASTERS

The tone was set on the first day - violence and abuse will not be tolerated.

Delegates to the Beyond Violence conference in New Plymouth were urged to adopt a zero-tolerance attitude to disrespectful and abusive behaviour within their own ranks.

Despite topics and speeches which could have enraged and polarised participants, the conference lived up to its name and although passionate, remained peaceful.

That is despite some controversy.

Sitting next to state social workers, Women's Refuge head Merepeka Raukawa-Tait called for the disbanding of the Child, Youth and Family Services, only to be rebuffed by the Prime Minister, who was not at the conference, and by social workers, who were.

Calls were made for Treaty of Waitangi rights to be upheld, ensuring Maori are involved in all decisions affecting them, for the long history of "dissension, conflict and distrust," between Maori and Pakeha to be acknowledged so the country could move Beyond Violence, and for the impact of colonisation and the resulting dispossession of an indigenous people to be addressed.

But maybe the most often-heard message, as paper after paper was given on distressing subjects - violence in rural communities, violence within gangs, violence in Pacific Island communities, violence against women, violence against children - was that stopping violence and child abuse is up to every individual.

It is a call that has been heard with increasing momentum especially since details were revealed about the killing of James Whakaruru, beaten to death by his mother's boyfriend and failed by everyone who came into contact with him.

While many speakers called for better leadership at all levels - in Maori communities, Pacific Island communities and at a political level - the conference also urged people to look to themselves for leadership.

Said conference chairwoman Bronwyn Somerville, director of the Crime Prevention Unit, on the last day: "When you point a finger at the lack of leadership, when you point the finger at bad leadership, when you point a finger at violence and abuse, there are three fingers pointing back at you, saying what are you going to do about it.

"Look for that leadership opportunity in yourself, because you can all be quality leaders in your own family. You can be prime ministers in your own family democracies."

Participants - many from voluntary agencies working on a shoestring - had another common cry. They spoke of not having the resources to do their jobs properly, and attacked the previous Government for fragmenting services and setting up a system where community agencies had to compete against each other for a limited number of dollars.

Many were cautiously optimistic that Social Services Minister Steve Maharey, who spoke at the conference, seemed to hear them.

Others called for comprehensive training for everyone involved in dealing with child abuse and violence.

One woman from the Maori Women's Welfare League, lamented the lack of youth in the movement - "most of us are 60-plus."

After hearing the paper on the death of James Whakaruru, who was seen by 40 health professionals, all of whom failed to diagnose abuse - the woman said everyone should be able to tell the difference between a bruise from a beating and a bruise from an accident.

Another paper said the brains of neglected and abused children did not form properly, becoming stuck in a "fight or flight fear mode."

And along the way many delegates stood up and recounted their own painful pasts, such as the Samoan woman struggling with the memory of her mother who was loving and caring - and who beat her.

But along with the horror stories came many examples of people trying to stop the violence.

Ms Somerville said participants had taken home with them new ideas, new thoughts and new strategies.

Delegates were still enthusiastic and passionate at the end of an often gruelling three days, creating a sense of optimism that although it may still be a long way off, the country is taking tentative steps towards going beyond violence.