Deborah Coddington: Bridges must not spoil his form on a natty hot bed

Sunbeds can cause cancer - but it is the user's choice. Photo / Bay of Plenty Times

Simon Bridges is one of National's standouts. It's difficult, to put it mildly, to make a name for yourself as a Government backbencher, but Bridges, the MP for Tauranga, captured hearts and minds across the political spectrum when he spearheaded an amendment to the Animal Welfare Act.

Passed last year, it makes life tougher for scum who like to torture animals.

I can't think why an MP hadn't thought of this before, and congratulations to Bridges, particularly when there seem to be - coincidentally - a large number of animal abuse incidents in his area.

Who could forget the images of that dog, howling all night at the edge of the Welcome Bay estuary, trying to rescue her puppies after they'd been hurled into the water to drown?

So though David Carter took over this legislation to steer it speedily through the House, undoubtedly the Bill owes its unanimous support to Bridges' hard work and general respect.

And back in what Bay of Plenty folk hate being referred to as "God's Waiting Room" - Tauranga - he is very popular.

Proof? On Facebook he has more than 5000 friends.

But ... (there is always a but) ... Simon has caught regulatory-itis. Simon has been to Nanny school. Simon is minding Nanny's handbag.

Having achieved considerable glory with his Animal Welfare Act, Simon is now considering writing another private member's bill.

This one will force anyone who charges people to tan on a sunbed to abide by the guidelines which have been drawn up by the Cancer Society.

Yes, the same Cancer Society whose sunscreen trigger spray, advertised as SPF 30, was found by Consumer NZ in 2008 to be only SPF 23.3.

Apparently, customers who use sunbeds are not being warned that if they have fair skin they shouldn't be under them too long, or if they're under 18 they shouldn't even use them, or blah, blah, blah.

I'm not here to save you from yourself if you're stupid enough to go near a sunbed.

Readers, you have choices.

You must have been living under a rock for the past 20 years to not know that sunbathing and sunbeds are likely to cause melanoma or skin cancer. With or without the use of sunscreen.

There are spray-tan shops if you wish to feel like a Holden Commodore at the panel beaters. You, too, can look like Rodney Hide.

Or buy a bottle of self-tan and do streaky in the privacy of your own en suite.

Nobody forces you into a sunbed parlour.

And after all the slip-slop-slap messages have been ignored, why should those who use these sunbeds turn around and demand a ban or regulation of the operators because they may - and it's a big because - have melanoma several years down the track?

Bridges might as well regulate the sun. He could draft a sunlight banning bill, and good luck to him with that.

In January this year Southern Cross Health surveyed 1000 members and found 89 per cent of 21- to 29-year-olds had allowed themselves to burn in the sun (or on sunbeds) in the past 12 months.

This, even though they knew of the dangers of melanoma.

For the young, a tan from UV rays is more desirable and melanoma is something they think just won't happen to them.

There will always be fools, in and out of Parliament. I'm surprised Bridges got this proposal past his caucus.

What will he focus on next?

Some nutters think bedside clock radios cause cancer - will Simon command we remove them from bedrooms before we retire?

What about cellphones causing brain tumours? Nanny Simon could regulate our conversations, or maybe hands-free use only?

Why stop at cancer-causing menaces in our lives? Heated carseats are suspected to cause male sterility - better ban those plus too-tight Y-fronts. And underwired bras can cause breast cancer, I'm told. So go saggy.

Heaps here to keep Nanny Simon busy. Unless someone in caucus pulls him into line and reminds him the National Party once expected people to take responsibility for their choices.

And before you start, I'm a survivor of invasive melanoma.