KEY POINTS:
Hello I'm a hooker shoe. I'm black and shiny and impossibly high and pointy and scream of bondage and naughtiness. Bondage and naughtiness in fact, are the two things I'm most often used to pursue, but this year in an effort to broaden my horizons and boost my daytime profile, I'm doing fashion week. Which is how I found myself in a church for the first time in forever yesterday morning at Jaeha.
I was delighted that Alex decided to go with fetish footwear for his first solo show,
I knew it would be one of the hot tickets of the week after his Edward Scissorhands extravaganza last year.
The 5am call time was a bit rough though - I'm usually tottering home at that time, to be honest, but I managed to get myself presentable and front up on time.
I'm glad I did. I finally managed to get over the incongruity of my surroundings enough to actually enjoy them. St. Matthew-in-the-City is a gorgeous wee chapel, all gothic arches and beautiful polished floors. Bit of a worry for the girls though, having to navigate a
twisty turny church catwalk perched six foot off the ground in the spindly likes of me.
Still, they all managed admirably, it was those floaty tunic dresses that nearly caused a stumble in the end. Worth it though, to put those gorgeous creatures through their paces for such a strong collection.
Moody without being gimmicky, Jaeha showed he is very much a man of definite ideas, sending out a bevy of Transylvanian widows who strutted through the church with just enough menace to keep things interesting.
Long liquid silhouettes in diaphanous fabrics were the order of the day for the ladies, and how great was it to see the boys looking so spiffy in paisley?
The skin tight pink acid wash jeans were the pick of the lot for me, but what do you expect? I am a hooker shoe after all. And no, I don't know what that thing was that was wrapped around that boy. I overheard one front rower call it a dragon, but it looked a bit more like a wolf of the Steppes to me.
Onwards and upwards then to my next appointment. Sadly there was little demand for hooker shoes during the afternoon. Deborah Sweeney's tightly edited collection of eminently wearable, delighfully feminine pieces was highly enjoyable all the same.
Special kudos for her playful use of yellow for dresses and in accents. It's not the most
popular colour in my industry (we go in more for the electric blues and scarlets), but I liked it all the same.
Fetish footwear was conspicuous by its absence at Alexandra Owen also. Not so surprising given the young Wellingtonian has already become synonymous with elegance and restraint.
Her experiments with proportion showed that she's not devoid of a sense of humour however. All in all, that show has to stand out as one of the most confident and original of the week, although I suspect the price points won't be for the fainthearted if many of those pieces make it to production.
I was hoping for a gig from TwentySevenNames, so I must confess I was disappointed when they pulled a fast one and went with what I think were the same high heeled boots I saw at Hailwood the night before. I forgive them though, because their look was so simple and wearable and great. Loved the fringing especially, and the sparkly LBD.
My time to shine again though, at Trelise, or as I like to call it The Show Without End. In fairness to Trelise, she was showing Cooper and Trelise Cooper, but still, what a marathon! And you weren't even walking!
One has to marvel at the sheer volume of garments sent down the catwalk but I did detect a slight touch of battle fatigue from some members of the audience towards the end.
A great showing for the hooker shoe fraternity however. We were there in all of our spike heeled, sexually suggestive glory, accesorising a range of frocks that showcased feminity in all of its myriad forms.
Eastern peasants, society matrons, Harajuku girls, psychedelic hippies, all got their spin on the runway. I think I even saw a navajo Indian at one point, but that may have just been show induced delirium. Gorgeous romantic make-up at that show too. The black cherry lipstick was spot on, but I did wonder at one point why all the girls had Liz Finlay's hair?
So there you have it. A day in the life of a Fashion Week Hooker Shoe.
Two of the biggest shows of the week in one day! I've had my spin in the spotlight, and I tell you what girls, I loved it. Was it just a oncer, or are you going to see me working that runway again? At Lonely Hearts this afternoon perhaps? Or maybe even Zambesi tonight?
Sorry dear readers, I couldn't possibly say ... You'll have to wait and see ... Love, Me x.
Other Day Two Highlights:
* The music at Jaeha. A choral interpretation of Everybody's Free to Feel Good for a show in a church? Yes thank you. Lovely.
* That oversized black coat at Alexandra Owen. You could drive a Rav 4 up that thing and no one would notice. Buy it and never worry about water retention again.
* Model Jasper in a crown of thorns at Stolen Girlfriends Club. Be still my beating homoerotic heart!
Usher Extraordinaire Ricardo Simich for the line of the day
Officious Other Usher to Ricardo: (Indicating hopeful looking fashionista): "Has this girl got a seat?"
Ricardo to Officious Other Usher: "Leave her there! I'm going to A-her in a sec."
I feel a new verb coming on...
"To A". Verb. Def. To seat in the front row of an event, pref. fashion.
Usage:
"Did you enjoy the TwentySeven Names show?"
"And how! Babes I got A-ed"!
Lowlight: Alert Taxis without eftpos. False advertising, not to mention a big
pain. Don't you know fashion folk never carry cash?
Noelle McCarthy
Annah Stretton at Fashion Week 2008
