Czech out this cool little joker

By ALASTAIR SLOANE Motoring editor

Heard the one about the husband and wife who arrive at the Pearly Gates and St Peter asks them if they've been faithful to each other. "Your answers will determine what kind of car you get to drive in heaven," says St Peter.

The husband says he has never even looked at another woman and gets a Skoda. St Peter turns to the man's wife and says: "Now, about your skateboard ... "

That's the short version. The longer one is at www.skoda.co.nz, where Skoda Auto parades its new models and laughs at itself.

Its newspaper and billboard advertising will also have self-deprecating lines like: "Funny little cars, aren't they"; "Odd people drive them, don't they"; "Embarrassing to be seen in, aren't they."

There's one that says "0-100km/h. Honest." Another says a Skoda "might just get you down to Tauranga".

The advertising campaign was dreamed up by Auckland agency Mr Smith.

So was a light moment during the launch, when a couple of Skoda executives dressed in 1970s-style crimplene suits wheeled out a 30-year-old 110L rear-engined model, the butt of a typical Skoda joke of the time: "Why does it have heated rear windows? So you can keep your hands warm while you push it home."

The crimplene became part of Skoda folklore here after the 1984 general election. The sitting Pakuranga National Party MP Pat Hunt was beaten by Social Credit candidate Neil Morrison. Hunt described Morrison's win as a "victory for crimplene suit-wearers and Skoda car-drivers".

Skoda is using past perceptions as a cheapskate carmaker from behind the Iron Curtain to help it re-launch in New Zealand with three new models - the small Fabia, medium Octavia and bigger Superb.

The Czech carmaker arrived here more than 40 years ago with a front-engined car. Rear-engined models like the 110L followed before it returned to front engines. It pulled out of New Zealand in the early 1990s, after Volkswagen bought it from its major shareholder the Czech Government.

Said Skoda Auto general manager Douglas Blair: "The re-launch marks an exciting challenge for us.

"We selected Mr Smith because they clearly understood the opportunities available in the market for Skoda, together with a creative direction that we believe reflects our ambition to make the brand as popular in New Zealand as it is in Europe, where Skoda sold more than 400,000 cars last year.

"The challenge now is to communicate to the public the quality of the brand as it is today and overcome common perceptions that date back 30 years."

Skoda Auto and Mr Smith tested those perceptions and surveys found New Zealanders over 35 remembered the jokes, while those under 35 had no preconceived ideas about the brand.

Said Mr Smith director Carl Fiebig: "We have all heard the jokes. But we have to remind the public of Skoda history. We don't want to smokescreen history."

Fiebig said he was using the flagship Superb in many of the ads "because it is so far removed from how people see the brand".

The 2.8-litre 142kW V6 Superb sedan costs $57,995 and sits on a stretched version of the VW Passat platform. It is heavier than the Passat but has a softer suspension. As a result, body control through corners is marginally more pronounced. But it maintains good grip and the meaty steering is accurate. Build quality is at the top end. So is the room in the rear seats.

The medium Octavia sits on a stretched version of the VW Golf/Audi A3 platform. The range starts with a 85kW 2-litre liftback at $36,990 through to a turbocharged 110kW 1.8-litre all-wheel-drive wagon called the Combi at $48,990. There is a choice of five-speed manual and four-speed automatic gearboxes. Boot space in the wagon is as good as it gets.

The Fabia shares its platform with the VW Polo. Four hatchback/Combi models with 50/74kW 1.4- or 85kW 2-litre engines are available from $24,990 to $34,990. Again, the wagon offers more than the hatchback.

Skoda Auto's first two dealerships are Auckland's Giltrap Prestige and Continental Car Services. More dealers will be appointed as Skoda gears up for sales of 200 cars this year.

Skoda is part of what VW calls its Contemporary division, along with VW passenger cars, Bentley and Bugatti. The Sport division comprises Lamborghini, Audi and Seat.

The history of the Skoda car includes the role mechanic Vaclav Laurin and bookseller Vaclav Klement played when they formed a company to build Slavia bicycles just before Christmas 1895. In 1899, Laurin & Klement moved into motorcycles and in 1905 built their first car, the Voiturette A. It turned up in New Zealand in 1907. Between 1911 and 1914 they produced 600 models of the Voiturette A. It became a Czech classic.

World War I and the subsequent lean years after it disrupted production and in 1925 Laurin & Klement merged with industrial heavyweight Skoda, which had built the Hispano Suiza, Czechoslovakia's most luxurious car, under licence from the French/Spanish carmaker.

In the early 1930s the company built the Skoda 420, a car ahead of its time.

Skoda became part of Germany's World War II effort before it was nationalised in 1946. It started building the 420 again and introduced a new model, the Tudor. During the 1950s and 60s it produced the Spartak and Estelle and entered its first championship rally in 1969.

The company began to lose its competitive position through the 1970s and 80s as mainstream makers took advantage of new technologies. But it clawed back some ground with the Favorit in 1988.

In 1989, with the Soviet grip loosening and a free-market environment approaching, Skoda looked for a foreign partner.

In December 1990 the Czech government chose the Volkswagen group and in April 1991, Skoda Auto began trading as the fourth branch of the VW, Audi and Seat group.