Violent marriage: Court hears husband liked pornography, sex toys and threw hot water over wife

The 47-year-old man, whose name is suppressed, is on trial in the Wellington District Court. He denies 25 charges.

WARNING: This article discusses family violence, which may upset some readers.

A controlling and violent husband allegedly beat her, threw hot water on her and forced her to use sex toys and watch pornography against her will.

However, his lawyer claims the woman is a liar and her version of events has changed over time to suit her interests.

Over the next several weeks, a jury in the Wellington District Court will decide who they believe.

The husband, whose name is suppressed, denies 25 charges, including indecent assault, assault on a child, conspiring to defeat justice, breach of a protection order, wilfully attempting to pervert the course of justice and sexual violation by rape.

He also denies 12 charges of assaulting a person in a family relationship, four charges of threatening to kill and three charges of unlawful sexual connection.

Opening the Crown case, prosecutor Madeleine Story told the jury the couple arrived in New Zealand in 2017, settling in Wellington.

Things came to a head in June 2022, when the wife called police alleging her husband had hurt her.

She told police the night before he’d punched her in the head, back and abdomen. The next morning when she told him she wanted to go to the police station he allegedly threatened to kill her.

Story said it was during that interview with police the wife alleged her husband had sexually assaulted her during their marriage.

The woman told police if she refused his sexual advances, he would beat her or refuse to let her see their son.

“She was terrified of him,” Story said.

The Crown says whatever he wanted to do to her body, he would do, despite her begging him to stop.

Story said this included the use of a wide variety of sex toys and pornography. She said he beat her during sex.

Story said she did not tell anyone what her husband did during their relationship because she was scared.

The court heard the marriage was also punctuated by other acts of violence.

He allegedly inflicted beatings with his fists or a shoe. Story said he threatened her with a knife every couple of months and regularly threatened to kill her.

On one occasion, he allegedly threw hot tea at her, on another occasion he threw hot water over her and their young son.

The court heard that during the Covid lockdown he forced her to drink wine. When she refused, he hit the glass spilling it over her face and body. She said many times he had sprayed perfume over her face.

The court heard in 2022, police laid charges against the husband and the following month a protection order was put in place. That prevented the husband from contacting his ex-wife or encouraging others to do so.

Yet the Crown alleges in 2023, two women connected with the husband contacted the ex-wife offering money if she would withdraw the complaint.

Story said when the husband was interviewed, he denied sexually assaulting his wife, maintaining he didn’t force her to do anything.

He also denied ever physically assaulting her.

But he did admit speaking to the two women who contacted his ex-wife, explaining it as a form of mediation.

In a brief statement to the jury, one of the man’s lawyers, Gerry Dobbyn, told the court the man faced a large number of serious charges.

He said it was up to the Crown to prove each element of the charges and if there was any doubt they should find his client not guilty.

“Essentially what you’ve had set out by Ms Story would amount to a years-long campaign of terror and abuse by the man against his wife,” he said.

Dobbyn said the allegations were based almost entirely on the word of the ex-wife.

He said that would be difficult for the jury because they would hear that over years, the ex-wife’s account of the marriage had waxed and waned and changed at various times to suit the circumstances.

Dobbyn told the jury the ex-wife had “lied without compunction to advance her own interests”.

The jury trial before Judge Bill Hastings is expected to take at least two weeks.

FAMILY VIOLENCE

How to get help: If you’re in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you. • Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you. • Take the children with you. Don’t stop to get anything else. • If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault. Violence is never okay.

Where to go for help or more information: • Women’s Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7) • Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7) • It’s Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450 • Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. • Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7) • Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence • Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services • White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men’s violence towards women.

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Catherine Hutton is an Open Justice reporter, based in Wellington. She has worked as a journalist for 20 years, including at the Waikato Times and RNZ. Most recently she was working as a media adviser at the Ministry of Justice.