The man is on trial accused of being violent and forcing the woman to have sex, involving the use of toys and pornography, several times a week,
WARNING: This article discusses family violence, which may upset some readers.
“I’ve seen a lot of (pornographic) films and I’m going to do every single one with you,” a man allegedly told his wife.
That man is currently before a jury in the Wellington District Court, where he denies 25 charges, most of which are sex and violence-related.
The woman’s allegations were contained in a two-hour interview with a specialist police interviewer that was played to a jury today.
During that interview the woman outlined a decade of abuse she endured from her then-husband, that began before they arrived in New Zealand in 2017, settling in Wellington.
The man’s lawyer Gerry Dobbyn yesterday told the court the ex-wife is lying, and her version of events has changed over time to suit her interests.
In the video, the woman said since arriving in the capital her husband forced her to have sex two or three times a week, always with the aid of sex toys, which he kept in drawers under the bed.
He’d also play pornography on a large television he’d bought for their bedroom.
“He would play a porn movie and expect me to do everything in the movie.”
She said if a movie featured a sex toy he didn’t have, he’d buy it on the internet.
On one occasion she said he came into the bedroom and turned on the television before telling her: “I’ve seen a lot of films and I’m going to do every single one with you,”.
She said she knew what was going to happen as soon as he turned the television on, but told the interviewer she didn’t know the extent of her suffering that night.
She described how he allegedly tied her wrists and hands, before breaking down in tears as she described how he violated her with the sex toys.
She told the interviewer she was in pain and repeatedly asked him to stop.
“What made him stop?” the interviewer asked.
“Nothing, nothing made him stop. I’d have to leave my body,” she replied explaining the sex went on for hours.
She said her husband was addicted to drugs, taking handfuls of pills - including Tramadol. These left him unable to reach an orgasm but also kept him up at night. When this happened, he wouldn’t let her sleep, she said. She described how he’d sleep in the morning, usually waking about lunchtime.
“When he used to take his tablets something would happen inside of him ... you could see it was affecting him and I fear he may die, he often fainted after taking the tablets,” she said.
If she refused his sexual demands the woman said they would argue, which risked waking the children. Or, she claimed he would beat her or stop her from seeing their children.
Following that interview, the woman gave evidence by AVL from another location.
She told the court he’d threatened her when he was pregnant. She described how he came towards her with a knife, which he held to her throat. He also punched her in the face saying, “that is your birthday gift”.
In response to questioning by Crown prosecutor Nicole Jamieson about what had happened that day, the woman said she was begging him and crying.
“I told him that it was my birthday, and I was begging him to stop and not to kill me.”
Her husband said he was going to kill her and no one would be able to find her, she said.
The 46-year-old defendant took extensive notes during his ex-wife’s evidence, frequently passing these to his lawyer.
He denies a total of 25 charges including indecent assault, assault on a child, conspiring to defeat justice, breach of a protection order, wilfully attempting to pervert the course of justice and sexual violation by rape.
That also includes 12 charges of assaulting a person in a family relationship, four charges of threatening to kill and three charges of unlawful sexual connection.
The jury trial before Judge Bill Hastings is expected to take two or three weeks.
How to get help: If you’re in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you. • Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you. • Take the children with you. Don’t stop to get anything else. • If you are being abused, remember it’s not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Where to go for help or more information: • Women’s Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7) • Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7) • It’s Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450 • Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. • Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7) • Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence • Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services • White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men’s violence towards women.
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Catherine Hutton is an Open Justice reporter, based in Wellington. She has worked as a journalist for 20 years, including at the Waikato Times and RNZ. Most recently she was working as a media adviser at the Ministry of Justice.
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